Not only those who venture into the jungle get hurt. We all get hurt at times, and invariably it's by someone, more often than not, a loved one; sometimes even the one we love the most. If you are in a place of continued pain "caused by" others, living or dead, these tips can swiftly change your orbit to one that is more peaceful, loving, and fulfilled.

Groundhog Day (without Bill Murray)

Don't dwell on the past. It draws your attention away from all that's happening in the present. Plus it ensures that each of your subsequent life experiences will be tainted by the trauma of whatever was once said or done. Which will only trigger negative feelings, which will trigger negative behavior and choices, which in turn will trigger more negative manifestations. What goes around comes around (as in your thoughts coming around to more of those things you don't like). Just as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, the bitter grow more bitter, with ever-expanding reasons to be bitter. Dwelling upon what once hurt you will only bring new surprises, new losses, more disappointments - new reasons to be hurt.

Leave Reruns To TV Networks

Your recovery is further impeded, and unpleasant manifestations compounded, when your own focus on the past invites the misguided sympathy or well-meant overattention of those who want to demonstrate their compassion by confirming that what happened to you was indeed awful, destructive, immoral, disgusting, shameful, harrowing, damaging, icky-gross...and that's just their warm-up. All of which, if you play along, only serves to create or confirm misbeliefs in your powerlessness, vulnerability, and victimhood. The "if you play along" part of that last sentence is all-important.

The key to your freedom has been within you all along. The old belief systems that were once a comfort to you for the excuses they made possible have been outgrown. They need to be shed, just as a cocoon that once protected a chrysalis must fall away for the butterfly to emerge.

Warm and Fuzzy but Limiting Beliefs versus Beliefs Beyond Forgiveness

1. Time is fleeting; I may have only one chance to get things right.

versus

Time and space set the stage for a lifetime of creating.

2. Opportunity only knocks once.

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Opportunity never stops knocking.

3. The early bird gets the worm.

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There are enough worms for all the birds.

4. I must be on guard against evil.

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There is no evil other than what I choose to see.

5. Luck (or its absence) is an uncontrollable component of every life.

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I create my own fortunes and misfortunes; my thoughts become things.

6. We are not the only ones who control our future.

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The Universe conspires on my behalf, wanting for me what I want for myself.

7. Life is a test and then we die.

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Life is part of an unending adventure.

8. There are bad people in the world.

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Everyone is doing their best and is of good intent.

9. Random and unpredictable things happen in every life.

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Within every situation there is meaning, order, healing, and love.

10. I could have been more except for what happened to me.

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I am more because of what happened to me.

It's okay to love life, love the process, love yourself, and to the best of your ability love those who may still harm you, not because they deserve it but because you do. This is how to claim your rightful power. Your tormentors; past, present and future, are lost in their own confusion and anguish. They didn't set out to hurt you, but to make some sense of a world that was hurting them.

Loving them doesn't mean you have to stay with them, heal them, or even give them the time of day. It may mean reporting them to the police, meeting them in court, or becoming their teacher, whether from a distance or through others. It means remembering that they, like you, are doing their best and that the two of you are just learning what works and what does not.

This was an excerpt from my book, The Top 10 Things Dead People Want To Tell You.