It’s that time of year again—the time when romance is in the air, and definitely in all the advertising. That’s right, Valentine’s Day, when pink and red hearts hang from displays in most retail shops, and everywhere from grocery stores to car dealerships offer Valentine ’s Day sales, using cute cupids and catchy slogans about love to entice buyers. While I am a proponent of following your heart and freely and deeply expressing love, sometimes Valentine’s Day can feel a little disingenuous. These days the holiday doesn’t seem to really be about celebrating love—but you can change that!


You Are Enough
The commercialism of Valentine’s Day perpetuates the myth that whatever love you have isn’t enough. If you are in a romantic relationship, then the message this time of year is that your relationship isn’t as good as you think it is unless your partner showers you with roses and chocolates. If you are not romantically attached, this holiday seems to suggest that you need to be; that you aren’t complete without romantic love. Neither of these things is true, but it’s human nature to be insecure, and retailers capitalize on the need for love and companionship.

This holiday can certainly bring out the self-doubt, uncertainty, and loneliness in even my advanced energy healing students. But this year, you don’t have to fall prey to the pressures of showing your love through material goods or feel desperate to find a date. Instead, why not spend this Valentine’s Day celebrating, honoring, and strengthening the love that already exists in your life?

Even A Garden of Love Needs Tending
Love is like a rose in more ways than just being sweet—it needs nourishment and light in order to grow, so make sure you tend to the love in your life. Rather than spending just this one day of the year forcing yourself to be romantic, think of Valentine’s Day as a catalyst to get you appreciating all the love that surrounds you every day of the year. Romantic love may be the focus of this holiday, but don’t forget all the other kinds of love that are worth noticing: love between friends, parents, siblings, and other family members, children and partners, and even pets, and all that love needs a little bit of tending.

Here are 3 ways to care for the blooms of love in your life:

1. Be More Loving
In energy medicine you learn that what you put out into the world will be reflected back to you because everyone is connected. Light attracts light, so if you want more love, or stronger love, you need to love more. Now this does not mean becoming more needy or clingy, it’s, in fact, the opposite. True love is never restrictive, but allows for evolution and change, and to be more loving means to be more accepting and open, loving your partner, your friend, your mother, etc., for who they are, rather than who you think they should be.

Being more loving can also include opening yourself up a bit more. Allow your fourth chakra to open a little wider and let your love shine out. Opening yourself up to love does indeed make you a bit more vulnerable, but the rewards are so worth any risks. Being more loving and open with other people also paves the way for you to be able to experience Divine love, which is the purest love in the universe. Meditation is another great way to move toward connecting with the Divine, and all my other energy healing techniques will help clear your chakras to make room for the love you’re cultivating to fill you up.

2. Be Flexible About How Others Love You
As a spiritual teacher and energy healer, I hear lots of stories of miscommunicated love. I had a student once who was certain that her husband must not love her enough because he rarely said those magic words. But as I asked her about their relationship, it became clear that her husband did love her immensely—he just expressed it differently than she did, with actions rather than words. After that healing course, she went home with a new appreciation for all the little ways her husband showed his love, and a deeper security in their relationship.

People love differently. People are wired differently, and have various ways of expressing their feelings, so you need to be aware of how your loved ones convey their love. Maybe your mother isn’t physically affectionate, but always makes sure you are fed, even sending you care packages of food. Perhaps your partner doesn’t remember your anniversary, but makes you coffee every morning without you asking. Love is not always the sunset walks and hot air balloon rides Valentine’s Day commercials may suggest. Sometimes love is a thoughtful gesture, a daily routine, a genuine interest in hearing about your day.

3. Love Yourself
Loving yourself is a precursor to being able to love or be loved by someone else. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, know that you are worthy of love, and that you are indeed enough with or without a romantic partner.
With these small steps, all the love in your life will flourish, and Valentine’s Day will be just one more day in the year you get to feel loved.