Hi there, my name’s Lauren Robertson, I’m a medium and coach, and author of The Medium in Manolos.

I wanted to write this post for you today, to talk about some simple rituals you can do to help yourself move through the grieving process after the loss of a loved-one.

My journey as a medium began with the loss of my Gran. I was 17 years old when she passed, and I didn’t think like a medium back then, I was simply a teenager, hurt, sad, scared and devastated because I’d lost someone who represented unconditional love to me.

On my quest to heal my pain, I came across five rituals that truly helped me moved through my grief. These five rituals brought me feelings of reassurance, peace, comfort and courage at a time when I was really struggling with her death, and they opened my mind to the possibility that our relationship had not come to an end…it had simply changed into something new and different.

I hope these rituals will help you find peace as you come to terms with the transition of a special person to Spirit, as they did me.

1. Light a candle and spend some time in contemplation.

Create some quiet time and light a candle, sit comfortably a few feet away from the candle and let your gaze fall upon the flame. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to simply be with whatever thoughts and feelings come up for you. If you are in pain because you are grieving, let yourself be with the sensation of pain rather than trying to flee from it. If you are filled with happy thoughts and memories about your loved-one, allow yourself to laugh and shed a tear. If you feel nothing, see nothing and sense nothing, that’s ok too…perhaps, for now, that sense of emptiness is what you need. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be. Spend 10 minutes or longer in candle contemplation, as often as you like. Allowing ourselves time to be with our thoughts and feelings around the loss of a loved-one can encourage acceptance and promote the healing process.

2. Write a letter to your loved-one.

I must be honest with you: Every time I write a letter to my loved-ones in Spirit, I bawl my eyes out, so I do not recommend you do this at work, in a restaurant or on the bus…unless you don’t mind sobbing in public!

For me, much of the pain after bereavement was due to the unsaid ‘I love yous’, the untold gratitude, and the unasked questions. One day, I decided to write a letter to a particular person in Spirit, and in it, I put everything I wanted to say but never could.

Afterwards, I felt better. I felt heard, and in the writing process even provided me with some answers!

Try it. Write a letter to your loved-one and tell them everything. The good, the bad and the ugly. It should be several pages long at least. And when you think you’ve written all you can, just give it a second then keep going: The Truth usually comes after we’re done saying what’s appropriate. Don’t hold back, let everything out.

3. Meet them in a visualization.

After my Gran passed away, I lay down on my bedroom floor, sprinkled some lavender essential oil around myself, and closed my eyes. Immediately I was transported to a garden in my mind, and my Gran was there. She hugged me tight, and we talked about many things.

If you’re ready to meet your loved one in Spirit again, it can be a very moving and profound experience. Just close your eyes and let yourself be taken to where they are. Speak with them, listen to them, and enjoy feeling the love you shared once more.

4. Set a place for them at the dinner table.

During the holidays, and on special occasions, we set an extra place at the dinner table in remembrance of our family in Spirit, and to welcome them to our celebrations. Doing so has often helped me feel that they are still a part of our family, and our lives. This simple gesture can also help to open up conversation, nostalgia and reminiscence about your loved one. Talking about them amongst an environment of celebration and gratitude can be a way to help other family members who may have been struggling, to open up about how they feel. Personally, I believe that having loving conversations about our friends and family in Spirit brings healing to all concerned.

5. Go on a big, bold adventure.

Your loved-ones in Spirit live on through you, and they see the world through your eyes. When you go on an adventure, so do they. Take that trip you’ve always talked about. Go do that thing that thrills you and scares you. Tell that special person how you really feel, eat that food you’ve never tried, and enjoy new and much-dreamed-of experiences. When someone we love passes away, it can be so tempting to make ourselves and our lives smaller, because we don’t want to seem insensitive, and we have guilt about enjoying our lives in case people think we’re ‘over it already’. But nothing could be further from the truth. Our loved ones in Spirit live through us, when we love, they love. So live boldly, love wildly, and know that as you do, they feel it too.

I hope these 5 rituals will assist your healing after the loss of a loved one. I know these rituals will pale in comparison to the times you spent together, but I hope they will open your heart to the possibility that you can live and love again after loss.

Learn more about how to make contact with loved ones in the Spirit World in Lauren Robertson's first book with Hay House, The Medium in Manolos.