Christians are taught that once in heaven, a spirit being is permanently out of reach and therefore unable to engage in ongoing—or any—contact with the living. Because our experiences are governed by expectations, the belief that ongoing contact is impossible is sufficient to prevent people from being open to the signs demonstrating that our loved ones in spirit are continually reaching out to us. However, my experience when my beloved husband Jean passed away was very different.

Whenever I tell my story, reactions fall into four distinct camps. 

1. Those who are frightened by the prospect of connecting with the spirit realm.

2. Those who are immensely relieved and comforted to discover the truth. Simply knowing that continued contact is possible allows them to begin their own process of healing and reconnecting.

3. Those who experience a sense of jealousy, despair, hurt, or anger. “Why is your husband in contact with you and mine is not?”

4. Those who are afraid that opening the door will allow evil spirits to enter in. For these people, I offer the analogy of call blocking on a telephone. We have the ability to set boundaries for ourselves. Just as we can screen our incoming calls and refuse access to unwanted callers, the same can be done with unwanted spirit presences.

I would like to give you some tools you need to prepare yourself to send and receive spirit communications. 

You need to turn your entire being into a receiver that is in tune with the communications that are being sent to you. All your sensory organs also need to be acutely attuned so that you can see, hear, smell, taste, and feel these communications.

1.    Cultivate The Ability To Be Still And Quiet 

When communicating with spirit beings, create what I refer to as “pockets of peace.” I discovered this requirement as soon as I returned from Italy without Jean. Within the first week, I was guided to turn off my television and every other electronic device. Without consciously realizing it, I was being advised to sit in silence so that I could hear Jean.

Now I’m not saying that you must convert your condo into a convent. Just cultivate your own “pockets of peace”—moments in which you tune out the world and turn down your conscious mind. When your conscious mind is quiet, your brain is able to perceive what it cannot hear during the daily humdrum of ordinary activity.

2.    Surrendering To All Your Emotional States

For years I have tended to openly acknowledge my feelings and not back away from pain. I discovered that pain is a purgative that opens our vessel. It literally breaks us down emotionally and physically to lift us up spiritually. 

If you want to open your vessel (that is, your mind and body) to send and receive communications with spirit, don’t run away or bury your feelings in soul-numbing or distracting behaviors.

While being open to your feelings heightens receptivity, it’s only part of the equation. Paradoxically, intense emotions block receptivity, so you also must be careful to keep yourself in check. The engulfing grief and anger that often mark the early stages of loss can dead bolt your heart and deafen your ability to hear.

You need to cultivate the ability to consciously observe yourself. To do this, you must fortify a part of the psyche that’s called the observing ego. One way is to imagine yourself like an eagle, watching yourself from above. As you observe yourself, you must learn to recognize the signs that you’re on the verge of emotionally flooding. These signs include a feeling of being washed overboard, out of control, or hysterical. You might find yourself crying uncontrollably, unable to catch your breath. Or you might be yelling or screaming.

3. Using Trance To Bypass Your Conscious Mind

There are various activities and practices such as prayer, meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, self-hypnosis, visualization, progressive relaxation, and deep breathing that enable you to calm your body and mind and create the calm and mental clarity that permits you to enter a trance state.

When you’re in a trance, your mind is more finely attuned and your psychic abilities are humming at a higher level. In fact, when your conscious mind is turned off, you have access to a part of the brain called the superconscious mind. This is the source of all power, knowledge, love, and peace. The superconscious mind is also free from the constraints of time and space. When you enter this place, you can more easily connect with loved ones in spirit.

The sensations associated with a trance state differ from person to person. In general, you’ll know that you’re there when you feel deeply relaxed and peaceful. Your respiration and heart rate will slow down. You may feel like you’re groggy or drowsy, but you won’t be asleep. Everyday thoughts and concerns will give way to a heightened state of awareness.

4. Hypnagogic Or Twilight States

In addition to meditating and visualizing, there is yet another way to open yourself to the superconscious part of your mind. You can take advantage of the hypnagogic state, which is the drowsy but often highly creative period between wakefulness and sleep. There are many other names for this, but whatever you call it, it’s the same state of mind that is activated during meditation.

While normally the transition between full wakefulness and sleep is a brief one, it’s important to realize that with practice, you can choose to linger in this state for as long as you wish. Doing so will open yet another doorway to spirit. You can choose to do this in the morning or evening or even before or after napping. The danger of doing this exercise in the evening is that you may be so tired that you fall asleep. Not being a napper myself, I find that early morning is ideal. Early morning is also a time of heightened creativity for many people.

5. Nature

One of the best ways to enter the present is to commune with nature. Nature has a unique way of nudging you toward the beauty and meaning of the moment. As you gaze upon the sunset’s pastel hues melting beneath the horizon or as you relish a silky breeze caressing your skin, the scent of honeysuckle wafting through the air, the nectar of a succulent peach bursting on your tongue, or the symphony of a songbird, you are fully alive—you are fully aware—in and of the moment. It is thus easy to see why nature readily induces a trance.

I recommend that you visit your favorite places in nature. Take regular walks, stroll in a nearby park, or sit on the beach. Even spending time in your backyard is a good way to allow the embrace of nature to bring you back to the now.

Practice all these exercises with the enthusiasm and playful spirit of a child, and you will soon discover that all your senses are fully open to the wonder of the universe around you. As you expand your senses, you will also expand your ability to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch spirit.

In my book, Love Never Dies I share my amazing story, and dozens of examples, of spiritual reconnection when my beloved husband made his continued presence known to me soon after his passing.