People joke that your child doesn’t come with a user’s manual, but they’re wrong. It’s written in her face, and all you have to do is learn to read it. Every aspect of your child’s inner nature and personal potential is eloquently inscribed in the curve of her cheeks, the shape of her eyes, the contour of her brows; it’s the unique language of her original design. The messages waiting for you there will explain who this little spirit really is—how he’ll tend to think, feel, and behave; and what he needs in order to feel loved and happy. In fact, your son’s or daughter’s face provides you with the map you can follow as you navigate your journey of parenting; it’s the best way to help them flourish and become the most powerful expression of their authentic selves.

The secret to discovering your child’s true nature lies in profound and ancient knowledge that evolved in China over the millennia, but has only begun to be translated for the West in recent decades. A branch of Chinese medicine, face reading is a science that teaches that we are all born with a unique blueprint, a design that is ours and ours alone, and that this inner architecture is reflected in the patterns observable in our outer design.

Just as in nature, where each seed is predetermined to develop into a certain kind of plant, each human spirit is born with a coherent plan, a soul’s intent. When a plant grows in a supportive environment—nourished with the right kind of soil, food, and light for its special needs—and isn’t obstructed or damaged, it blossoms into the most complete manifestation of its potential. In the same way, if children are loved, honored, and supported to develop in alignment with their inner design, they can actualize that plan, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

If you’re a gardener, you have it easy; you know what you’re nurturing. If you plant nasturtiums, you’ll know to prepare the soil in a certain way, place the seeds to receive just the right amount of sunlight for healthy growth, and sow those seeds at the time of year that’s best for them. You’ll make sure to fertilize them according to their special needs and water them appropriately to yield lush blooms that will spread throughout the garden.

As a parent, you can have a different experience. Delivered into your life is a glorious but totally mysterious little being whose physical care may be relatively easy to figure out, but the deeper complexities of emotional nurturing are not so obvious. And sometimes you’re expecting a nasturtium and you get a hollyhock! The sooner you realize this, the better the chances are that you can help your child thrive, because you’ll know how to do exactly what’s needed for him or her to grow into the most vibrant, beautiful young adults possible. But if you keep treating that flower (child) like a nasturtium, you’ll be in for some confusion, and that plant might struggle to fully express itself.

This is how it is with our little ones. If we’re able to recognize their inner plans, for example, you can support them in ways that are in alignment with their potential. Overall, the result is a less stressful parenting experience, and children who will be comfortable in their own skins and much more likely to prosper in life.