The Wish from Tricia

“Let her be,” I heard the older child whisper to the younger.

“Please!”

“No, she’s resting.”

I lie half-awake, nursing a headache as my children congregate outside my door. Time passes and again I hear their voices.

“Now?”

“No.”

Curiosity over my child’s impatience and excitement prevail, so I call out for him to come. He runs to my bedside yelling, “Mommy, Mommy, look! I picked you a beautiful flower.” The proud twinkle in his eyes accompanies his smile, which starts in his heart and travels through his tender seven-year-old body before exploding onto his face. He opens up his tightly gripped fingers and lays a freshly picked dandelion beside me.

The dandelion, labeled a weed in science books, is discarded from our gardens and rarely set on our tables. I pick up the white fluffy gift and search for a scent I know is not there. I think of you, knowing that you are feeling discarded and unappreciated at this juncture of your life.

My vision holds a different view, though. I remember your laughter like a field of daisies and see your smile in a bundle of sunflowers. I look to you and see the grace of a lily, the complexity of an orchid, the sweetness of a lilac. But my image of you holds little importance without your acknowledgment.

Like you, the beauty of the dandelion lies deeper than the eye can see. It allows itself to need the grace of others for survival, calling on the soil for nourishment, the rain to quench its thirst, and the sun to warm its petals. So let the words of those you love be your soil and nourish your soul. Let the compassion of others be your rain and quench your thirst for love. Let their laughter be your sun and warm your heart. Allow yourself to need and be needed.

The Actions from Barbara

The dandelion is actually many delicate, tiny flowers gathered together. Each of these tiny flowers produces a seed attached to a stem with white fluffy threads; one portion is curiously called a “wishie”! As a child they delighted me; with my breath I had the power within me to send these fluffy messengers of my fanciful notions off to places unknown. As I watched them gracefully fluttering away, I was joyful and anticipatory. I suggested the dandelion as our Wishes’ visual and spiritual talisman and was certain that once the dandelion was fittingly remembered with beloved childhood feelings (rather than as the adult gardener’s commonplace lawn nuisance), it could resume its rightful honor as a magical wand of childlike empowerment! As with so many things in life, the dandelion’s image and worth was all a matter of perspective.

• Start by deciding you are uniquely able, and affirm that
  you are a valuable person. (List your assets, skills, talents,
  and what you appreciate about yourself; ask others what
  they find distinctive about you.)
• You need to confirm that you are who you know ourselves
  to be, not how others alone see you. (Your self-worth should
  be determined by character and spirit, not by what car
  you drive or what purse you carry. People sometimes make
  poor character and worth assessments about others in this
  celebrity-driven, monetary society; your value should not
  be determined by how others with shallow ideals treat you.
  If you are kind, respectful, honest, hard-working, a good
  citizen, and a concerned family member, you are indeed a
  person of enormous substance!)
• If you want the world to truly see you, you must open that
  window to yourself, allowing others to view the beauty and
  wisdom you hold within.
• You do not need a complete makeover to feel renewed. Start
  with the simplest yet most important of elements: smile.
  People will smile back. Say “hello”; people will respond, and you will feel immediately more connected to the world around you.
• Practice self-reflection. What do you like about yourself? Learn
  to meditate, think deeply, and find a place where you can be
  silent. (These are examples of an internal process.) What
  would you like to change or improve? Perhaps keep a journal
  of your likes and dislikes, and a plan for self-improvement:
  additional schooling or professional training, exercise, and
  mindful eating, such as healthier cuisine and portion control.
  (This is an action project, both short- and long-term.)
• Create a personal self-affirming mantra (something as
  simple as: “I am wonderful and valuable,” or “I can do it,”
  or “Today I will . . .” and decide what you will work toward
  for this day.)
• You must be ready for the change or it will not be effective.
  You must decide you want to change and are ready to meet
  the consequences of your transformation. It will be hard
  work. You will discover that the greater the change, the
  more time and effort you must exert. Perhaps it will take
  years of study, vigorous exercise, or an unpaid internship,
  but you need to commit to persevering.

The following lines are extracted from Nelson Mandela’s 1994 inaugural speech, but they were actually written by author Marianne Williamson in her book A Return to Love. This is one of my favorite mantras. I recommend looking it up and reading it in its full glory:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us . . . It’s not just in some of us; it is in every one. And as we light our own, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”