A successful psychiatrist saw eight patients a day and obtained excellent results. Each patient would walk out of his office with a smile and give the doctor a warm handshake. Many observers speculated on the secret of his success, but only his secretary knew it. At the end of each day, he would call her on the intercom and tell her, “Okay, Jodie, you can bring me my hearing aid now.”

The only talent more effective than being a good speaker is to be a good listener. Most people are ready to offer advice, but few are willing or able to listen. Real listening is an art and a skill. Cultivate your ability to be fully present with someone who sincerely shares about their life, and you will be the best friend this person has.

In my workshops, I lead an exercise in which one person speaks for five minutes, and the other simply listens. The speakers are instructed to express what they feel in their heart, and the listeners are instructed to listen without interrupting, giving advice, or telling their own story. Often the listeners receive more from the exercise than the speakers. They report that they felt relieved and refreshed not to have to respond with advice or feedback, and as a result, they were able to pay more attention to the speaker and feel with them as they shared.

To truly bless your friends is much simpler than you may have thought. More than anything else, they would probably appreciate your undivided attention. Give them an open ear, and you will bless yourself as well.