Coping With The Loss of A Loved One
Articles Inspirational articles from Hay House authors
Coping With The Loss of A Loved OneComforting Messages From a Medium
After losing someone you love, you may feel that a part of you has died as well and not even wish to be here on Earth anymore. On the other hand, your deceased loved ones are probably right there by your side, trying to comfort you, whispering a powerful message in your ear:
"Please don’t grieve for me. It is so hard for me to watch you suffer. I’m in such a peaceful and happy place, and I want you to be in the same wonderful energy.
As you now fully understand, life is too short, so make sure to embrace each and every day, and be grateful for all the blessings in your life. Love and appreciate those who are still here with you. Be strong, show compassion to everyone you meet, and make a difference in this world. Please go out and enjoy life again. I love you so much, and I will see you again when you join me, many years from now. But for now, be brave and make me proud of all that you are able to accomplish in this time that we are apart."
Getting Out There Again
That’s right. Your loved ones don’t want you to be sad, alone, and miserable. They want you to move on, be happy, and reach new horizons. So make sure to concentrate on being joyful again and stay busy so that you are not constantly focusing on who or what you’ve lost. However, even before you do all that, it’s very important to devote as much time as you need to grieve and take care of whatever needs to be done. Hopefully you’ll have friends and family members that will be there to help you. Give yourself sufficient time just to cry and reminisce. Don’t begin to settle legal issues or go through your loved one’s belongings until you are completely ready.
At some point, though, it will be time to return to your everyday routine. You may have to go back to work and continue with your usual activities. While moving on with your life may be the last thing on your mind, concentrating on something other than your loss may be exactly what you need in order to begin the healing process. When the time is right, you may even wish to set some new goals and begin new activities to keep your mind in a more positive place. If you feel guided to do so, make a list of everything you’d like to achieve, and then check each item off after you accomplish it. If you love to travel, this may be the perfect time to take the trip you’ve always wanted to take. If you have a zest for learning new things, this would be the ideal opportunity for you to enroll in classes that interest you. Maybe you’d like to join an organization that’s in line with something you’re passionate about, volunteer for causes that are important to you, redecorate a room in your house, or perhaps do something as simple as plant some flowers in your front yard.
If you enjoy being in the company of others, arrange a few get-togethers with those you love. You may also choose to reconnect with family members and friends that you haven’t seen in a while. And don’t forget to spend plenty of quality time with your pets, because they absolutely will give you the unconditional love that you need. If you would rather be alone, make sure to set aside lots of time for this. Go for walks, meditate, read, listen to your favorite music, watch shows that make you laugh, drive to places you enjoy, or perform any task that uplifts your spirit. And even if you don’t feel like doing anything at all, honor that, too! Just take all the time you need until you feel comfortable with stepping ahead with the next phase of your life.
Keeping Their Memory Alive
You may also wish to involve yourself in events that are dedicated to the memory of those who passed. These may include raising money for a charity that supports whatever illness they had, creating a scholarship in their name, speaking on their behalf at certain functions, planting a tree in their honor, donating objects such as park benches, or anything else that would allow you to pay tribute to their precious lives.
Keeping a journal of your fondest memories together, writing letters to them, sending them love, and talking to them are also excellent ways to maintain a connection with those who have crossed over. It doesn’t matter which way you decide to plug in to their energy; since your thoughts are directed toward these individuals, they will be aware of your efforts to communicate with them.
Getting Rid of Guilt
You may be feeling that you should have done something differently to have prevented their death—you may believe that you didn’t carry out their wishes the way they wanted, didn’t treat them the way you should have, or could have spent more time with them. If you’re feeling guilty for anything you did or didn’t do, please understand that your deceased loved ones are in a place of complete love, where blame no longer exists. They actually see the bigger perspective; that is, they are able to understand your actions completely.
During the writing of my book, Your Life After Their Death I taught a class on how to communicate with angels and deceased loved ones. During the class, the mother of a student named Anthony came through and talked to him about her being buried without her rings. (Apparently, when she was still alive she had instructed him that she wanted to be buried wearing her wedding and engagement rings. He decided to give the rings to his daughter instead, and had been holding on to this guilt for over eight years!) His mother gave him the message that she doesn’t need the rings where she is now and understands why he chose to give them to his daughter. She went on to tell her son how much she loved him and that he should stop feeling guilty. Of course, he was so relieved to hear this message and told me that he’s finally able to move on with his life again.
Another source of guilt for many people is that they believe they could have prevented their loved one’s passing. Despite this common feeling, the response from the departed is always that there was nothing anyone could have done that would have prolonged his or her life; it was simply the right time to go. Needless to say, my clients and students breathe a sigh of relief and are so thankful to hear this important message.
Remember, all that exists in the afterlife is unconditional love, total understanding, and blamelessness. This is why it’s important to release all the unnecessary guilt you’ve been carrying around. They’re seeing you through the eyes of love and not pointing the finger at you for what you’ve done wrong!
It’s Okay to Be Happy Again
Yes, it really is okay for you to be happy again! It’s not being disrespectful if you laugh and have a good time. Your deceased loved ones don’t want you to be sad; they actually encourage you to move on with your life.
As a matter of fact, a very common message that comes through for those who have lost their spouses or partners is that the deceased don’t want them to be alone. They want their living loved ones to find the perfect significant other, who will help them to feel better.
A perfect example of this is a story about John, who started coming to see me after the passing of his precious fiancée, Bernadette. During every appointment, Bernadette comes through and says that she wants John to date again, and even recommends that he go out with some of her friends! In spite of what she says, and even though it has been almost nine years since she’s been gone, John still doesn’t feel quite ready to be with anyone else. However, when he finally does decide that the time is right, there will be no judgment and only love from Bernadette. She still loves John so much and just wants him to be happy.
Remember, if you decide to move on and live your life to the fullest, it doesn’t mean you have forsaken those who have passed on or that you have put them out of your mind! As a matter of fact, it’s quite the opposite. You will always love and never forget them. You have been so blessed, not only because they were physically with you when they were here on Earth, but also because they are still by your side, watching over and protecting you in more ways than they ever could before!