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Dance with Life

Articles Inspirational articles from Hay House authors

Dance with Life

Your best shortcut to joy.
Phil  Parker
Phil Parker More by this author
Mar 22, 2012 at 10:00 AM

I’d like to introduce you to two of the most powerful questions in the world. But before that, I should explain why questions may be your shortcut to success and happiness. Questions? Surely you’re thinking I want answers, not questions!

While this is a reasonable request, it might surprise you to discover that the most important thing that I’ve learned from over two decades of working in this field is:

Providing solutions, advice, suggestions or answers doesn’t really help much.

And incidentally even more unhelpful is unrequested advice, which is like pouring milk into someone’s orange juice.

So, why are questions so much more valuable than answers?

First, the answers I might offer for your problems will be my solutions to them, and not yours. And although these solutions might have worked well for me, they might not be great for you. For instance:

Q: Should I marry that girl? Advice: No, I don’t find her attractive.

How useful is my advice here?

Second, if I simply supply you with answers, then you won’t go through the process of finding a solution for yourself. This finding a solution process is essential in helping you create solutions for other problems you might come across in the future. What happens if you don’t go through the process here? Then when you get stuck at some future point, you’re likely to either apply exactly the same solutions as I suggested before (which may be inappropriate for that scenario) or ask someone else for help. Asking someone else for help is a reasonable strategy, but what if there is no one around to ask? What if the only source of advice is not very helpful or just plain wrong?

So now you know that questions—and not other people’s answers—are what you need. Read on:

When the sun is shining and the birds are singing, it can be quite easy to feel good. But when you’ve planned a picnic and you find all the shops are closed and the rain is falling like it’s time for Noah to build another ark, you might not feel so light-hearted. This is one of those golden opportunities to give in and give up and succumb to the predictable, unhappy consequences that it will have on your life.

The ability to use these questions either before these situations occur or in the moment that everything begins to deviate from your plan is essential for being able to dance with life. Life doesn’t have your picnic pencilled in its diary. It hasn’t arranged the weather to fit your picnicking needs. In fact, it doesn’t really care either way. Life will sometimes support your endeavors and other times, it is out to crush them. But life isn’t actually bothered either way. Life doesn’t have an interest; it just does what it does. If you want your life to be better than a random series of ups and downs, then you need these to ask these key questions:

Question 1: What do I want? 

Question 2: How am I going to get it?

It sounds simple and it is, but it’s amazing how easy it can be to forget this premise when the things we’ve planned go up in smoke in front of our eyes. Surf over the dips in life’s ups and downs with these key questions and make plans to dance with life.

Exercise: Dancing with Life

Take some time to imagine what it would be like to take on this habit of finding a way to dance with everything life throws at you.

Who do you know or have read about who already dances with life?

What would it be like to be in their shoes for a day?

I’m constantly amazed at how important these two questions are. I’d say that taking on this perspective is probably one of the most important things you can ever do in life. As a coach, I’ve had the privilege of talking in depth with people about what makes them happy, successful, inspiring. Every person whom I’ve ever spoken with who is successful, fulfilled and happy (and so on) has this perspective on life. So, if you want what some of them have, maybe you should join those who dance with life!

About Author
Phil  Parker
Phil Parker is an internationally renowned lecturer, therapist and innovator in the field of personal development. His training as a hypnotherapist, executive coach, certified master practitioner of NLP and osteopath give him a unique ability to prov Continue reading