Besides telling us that there aren’t any more honey-roasted peanuts left, and reminding us that our tray tables need to be in their upright and locked position before take-off, flight attendants also instruct us to place the oxygen mask on our selves before our children in case an emergency arises.

On land, we can also deal with others more effectively if we take care of ourselves first. Now, I’m not advocating running out to get a pedicure while your kids are stranded on the playground, but so many of us feel that stinging twinge of guilt when we try to enhance our own lives. But somewhere on the road between selfish and selfless lives a place where your strength and joy can radiate out to everyone around you. Use the following three luscious little ideas…and start radiating:

Your Own Personal Fan Club

Yes, we are all created equal—except that celebrities employ a staff to remind them how divine they actually are. Now, just in case your staff is on a permanent vacation, remind yourself what a good job you’ve been doing. Literally take a moment and pat yourself on the back. You don’t need a Greek chorus to recognize your accomplishments—you have you!

And while you’re patting yourself on the back, don’t turn your back on the company you keep. Be sure to associate with people who support you and offer you verbal pats. I once had a friend (notice the word had), and every time I saw her, I would come away feeling down for some reason. I suppose she meant well, but she’d say things like, “You’re looking a little tired tonight—are we the same age?” Or how about this gem: “You’re looking a little puffy. Did you want to gain weight?” Harmless comments, but who needs them? We’re entitled to choose our friends, so make a point of hanging out with members of your own fan club.

Soundtrack of Your Life

It’s not unusual to share a song with your honey, and when it randomly plays on the radio, time just seems to stand still! But what about that song that means so much to you that every time you hear it, it brings goose bumps to your spine and a smile to your soul? Keep that song handy, and play it as if it’s dessert. It can physically energize you or magically relax you. It’s yours.

Zeeeeeee’s

Ze important element to clarity, creativity, and productivity is energy. When our batteries are run down, so are our efforts. Sometimes, just a 15-minue catnap can refresh our energy . . . but too many of us feel this odd guilt over the need to replenish ourselves. Give yourself permission to catch a few z’s. Specify a certain place, pillow, and throw as your napping tools. And then when you awaken, a little milk and cookies (or soy milk and Snackwells) will set you on your way.