The spirit is the hidden source of the most healing energy we have. It is this energy that binds the body and mind as one and all living things to one another. If your spirit is sick, no amount of physical or mental doctoring will truly heal you. When we are cut off from our spirit, our emotions are largely reactive. We feel as if they control us, not the other way around. When we have a sense of the spirit, our emotions emanate from a deeper place. We may feel very passionately, but we stop trying to use emotion as a shield or distraction. We no longer try to manipulate other people with our emotions. And, importantly, we are able to judge emotions for what they are—passing biochemical surges—and stop letting them rule our lives.

These days, many people consider spirituality and religion the same thing. But I don’t. When I talk about your spiritual self, I’m talking about a sense of loving space and stillness that resides in all of us, that is collective and broad and nondenominational. Depending on who you are, you may access this space at different times: in nature, playing a sport, praying, holding a baby, meditating, or simply sitting in the sun.

During these times, you are connecting to your spirit, a connection that often comes with a sense that there exists a benevolent, harmonious universal force connecting you to all living things. How you define this unifying energy is your personal decision, but drawing upon it is one of the most powerful balancing tools you have at your disposal.

One of the key ways to access the spirit is through personal ritual. All spiritual endeavors incorporate ritual—lighting candles, chanting, praying, repeating sacred texts, music, laying on of hands, honoring nature and the change of seasons, fasting, feasting, and purifying are only a few examples. I will not even try to suggest a ritual that might resonate for you; I’ll only suggest that you actively seek one out. Be fearless in this and commit to it as if your life happiness depended on it—because it very well might. Ritual is the practice of welcoming the spirit, and the more you repeat it, the more profound it becomes. Talk to your friends, your health-care practitioners, and people at your place of worship and find out what they are doing. Try a meditation class or go on a spiritual retreat. Be open to the universe and kind to yourself and see what miracles ensue.