In one of my recent seminars, a woman named Jan recounted a long woeful tale about how her 21-year-old daughter, still living at home, was highly irresponsible and abusing her household. Yet Jan felt too guilty about setting even a few reasonable boundaries that would make her home life easier. It was clear to me that Jan needed to tell her daughter she would either have to respect her mother’s household rules, or get her own place. Yet in the face of my various suggestions, Jan had a long list of reasons why this situation couldn’t be resolved. Finally I told her, “I can help you, but if you are not open to help, I cannot. Are you willing to work with me?”

Suddenly Jan “got it” and agreed to do an exercise with me. We role-played a scene in which Jan had a highly productive conversation with her daughter. During the exercise Jan became so authoritative that the audience gave her a huge ovation. She had tapped into her power to lovingly yet firmly say “no” to abusive behavior.  When she became willing, she shifted.

When you are open to receive a better situation than you have experienced, the universe will deliver it. Like Jan, you will have to get off your “But . . .” The more you focus on why things are not working, the more things don’t work. The more you focus on what is working, or how things could work, the more things work.

Your mind is extremely powerful. It is literally generating your world. Take care that you argue for your possibilities rather than your limits. You will get whatever you make a stand for, so make a stand for what you want.

How might you become an advocate for your goals rather than your roadblocks?

I assume ownership of my world. I am open to receive my good . . .  no buts about it!