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How To be Nice And Loving Without Being A Pushover

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How To be Nice And Loving Without Being A Pushover

Doreen Virtue Explains Why It Is So Important To Set Boundaries In All Your Relationships
Doreen Virtue
Doreen Virtue More by this author
Jul 18, 2016 at 08:30 AM

When you encounter a person who’s ego-focused, you’ll feel a draining sensation in your body, because your energy is literally being drained. You’re also being scanned energetically by the egocentric person, who’s assessing what she can take from you.

If you have been taken advantage of repeatedly for being a nice person, then please pay extra attention. The ego energy is all about “me” and “I”: What is in it for me? and What can I get out of this? That’s why self-centered people are called egocentric or egotistical.

Therefore, it’s important to take some time when you’re with someone to tune in and be very aware of how your body feels in that person’s presence. Your body is one of the most accurate divination tools on this physical plane. It is a crystal that resonates with energy vibrations.

So when you meet someone, rather than worrying, Does she like me? Am I good enough? and posing these sorts of self-doubting questions, instead listen to what your body says.

7 Signs You Are With A Self-Centered Person

• Do I feel drained of energy when I’m around this person?
• Does my stomach tighten with defensiveness, bracing myself against some danger?
• Do I feel myself backing away from this person or wanting to leave her presence?
• Is there a sense that I’m the only one giving in this relationship?
• Does it feel like the other person is all about taking?
• Does the other person joke or brag about how much she gets away with or takes advantage of others?
• After being with this person, do I feel tired or depressed or anxious?

 In my FREE video series, you'll learn how to release the fears that keep you from being assertive. I share clear ways to set and maintain healthy boundaries and heal from past pain that has you wrapped in fear.

What egocentric people want to take from you can vary. They may be looking for simple things such as a listening ear or kind words. Most people don’t feel taken advantage of for giving these things, unless it becomes a one-sided relationship where you’re the only one giving the compliments and doing the listening, and the other person never says anything nice to you, nor do they care enough to be your sounding board.

To find a person who isn’t egocentric, you’ll need to hold the intention of meeting other Earth Angels and givers, or those who have been working to develop self-awareness, and who have come to the realization that the path to true happiness is through balancing giving and receiving.

Relationships Are Synergistic 

You can be as nice as an angel in heaven, but unless you’re with someone who honors and respects your niceness, you’ll tend to be taken advantage of by those who are egocentric.

If someone’s egocentric, don’t worry whether or not he or she likes you. Egocentric people are incapable of liking anyone, because their hearts are closed. They don’t even like themselves.

When you get a sense that someone’s a “taker,” pull back your energy and don’t try so hard. He or she is not worthy of your time or friendship, and you’ll end up “breaking up” anyway when you get tired of being taken advantage of. You have a limited amount of time here on Earth, and it’s best to spend it on someone who’ll appreciate being helped.

Egocentric people see help from others as threatening to their egos, because it means they’re “weak” if they accept it. They also see receiving help as “winning” in their endless game of taking as much as they can without giving anything in return.

When dealing with an egocentric person, it’s not about getting his or her approval through being nice. It’s impossible to get the approval of those who are only concerned about themselves. Instead, focus on being loving and on respecting yourself.

With all assertive encounters, your goal isn’t to change the other person. Your intention is to be honest and authentic, and take good care of yourself and treat other people with respect.

Watch the first video in my FREE series now to find out the 3 signs of a toxic relationship.

About Author
Doreen Virtue
Doreen Virtue Doreen Virtue graduated from Chapman University with two degrees in counseling psychology. A former psychotherapist, Doreen now gives online workshops on topics rela Continue reading