In the not so distant past, people would say a child came from a “broken home” if the child’s parents were divorced. And this was considered a great tragedy. Many people, who really needed to separate, stayed together for the sake of the children. Although each situation is different, I can assure you that when a parent is miserable and stays in a miserable situation for the children’s sake, the child learns that miserable is normal for relationships. She also learns how to put up with misery. Tosha Silver, a writer and astrologer, told me that she considers a family “broken” when people who obviously dislike each other stay together for the sake of the kids.

And I agree.

Tosha (who has done over 30,000 readings on individuals) has worked with countless couples who continue to stay together—even when the kids are begging them to separate. Tosha has often heard children say they were relieved and grateful that their parents finally told the truth them about their relationship. The truth is that children are very astute about his. Even the youngest of children can sense that there is something wrong. Because these same children aren’t mature enough to know it’s mommy and daddy that have the problem, they blame themselves for the divorce. They also believe that if their home is broken, they must be somehow broken, too.

I'll never forget the day my 15-year-old daughter said, When I go to college, I won't be coming home for vacations. She was really informing me that being with both of her parents was just too stressful and unpleasant for her. Though we didn't fight openly, the growing incompatibility was palpable. (We hadn’t separated yet, but did later that year.) I commend my daughter for coping with this situation by suggesting that the adults work it out, as opposed to getting in the middle and trying to hold the family together.

Fast forward 12 years later. My former husband is happily remarried. My two daughters have a 10-year-old stepsister who they adore and who adores them. They also have a stepmother who adores them—and they her. Now, they quite literally have two places they can call home. Since their dad lives overseas, they are welcome on two continents. I've chosen to call this happy situation a broken open home.” And I encourage you to do the same.

I've often said that community equals immunity, because our sense of safety, security, and belonging is quite literally wired in by how many people and places welcome us and make us feel like we belong. This is one of the main reasons why individuals who felt loved as children—with people who truly cared about them—tend to be far healthier than those who come from violent or abusive backgrounds.

In fact, the famous Grant Study from Harvard is an example of this. Conversely, the famous ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) which shows the link between adverse childhood experiences and illness proves the same point, but from the negative point of view.

A mother's beliefs affect her children so powerfully that simply reframing a divorce story in a positive light for your children (regardless of their age) goes a very long way toward improving their health and happiness. After all, it's your perception of what happened to you—and its meaning—that truly determines what impact it has on your health long term. My daughters and I see that our lives opened in new directions because of the divorce. I know we aren’t alone!

No matter what happened to you in childhood, it's never too late to update your sense of safety and security or sense of belonging. It all begins with how you frame your experience. If you truly believe that your life was shattered by your parent's divorce and that that is the reason for all your troubles, it's likely that you will feel helpless and hopeless—the very emotions, which are strongly associated with a decreased immunity and an increased risk for disease.

Thankfully, divorce no longer holds the stigma that it once did. Many children now find it normal to grow up in two homes—with shared parenting. Gay and lesbian households are also far more common. So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what your home looks like. What matters is how many people love you—how many people let you into their hearts, and how many you let into yours. If there is love and caring there—if it's a place where you feel warm and safe and secure—then your health will be positively affected. The more of these people and places you have in your life, the better off you will be!!!

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

|2013-04-04 15:42:18|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|christiane northrup,divorce,community,safe,secure parenting,household,love,belonging,healthy relationships,broken home A Perfect World|

Come join the celebration.

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In honor of National Poetry Month, here’s one of my favorite poems by a Victorian Englishman known for his spiritual optimism:

The year’s at the spring
And day’s at the morn;
Morning’s at seven;
The hillside’s dew-pearled;
The lark’s on the wing;
The snail’s on the thorn;
God’s in His heaven—
All’s right with the world.
                Robert Browning (1812-1889)

The way to a peaceful life is to notice the perfection in God’s world and in ourselves, and nurture that perspective. When you look out with wide eyes of wonder and appreciate all that you see as a gift from God, including your own life working in harmony with nature, you will know what the poet meant.

Rather than seeing ourselves as connected to this world, we often feel we are in it to push it  around and make it conform to us. Rather than accepting it, we twist it to feed our ego,  creating havoc, imbalance, and what we call imperfection. Then the ultimate irony, we blame God for the very conditions we create out of the perfection that is our gift from God. The poet  says, be at peace, don’t judge the world, observe it. Don’t try to straighten it out. Don’t manufacture problems. Be in awe of the perfection of it all.

Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you.  Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe. Remind yourself  that you are just as much a miracle as the lark and the snail. You, in fact, are what God is doing.

 Trust and value your own divinity as well as your connection to nature. Seeing God’s work  everywhere will be your reward.

|2013-04-10 12:00:00|1||The Wayne Dyer Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0|wayne dyer,robert browning,creation,god,world,heaven,peace,perfection,gratitude,appreciation,nature What Makes You Smile?|

Little things that mean the most.

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I've been working on my next book, a memoir about the perils and pleasures of aging consciously.  I'm doing my best to live each day awake and aware of the finiteness of life.  As I make decisions, I keep asking, If today were my last day on earth, would I be satisfied with this choice? By doing so, I'm becoming acutely aware of what adds comfort, contentment, peace, and meaning to my life.  I'm realizing some pretty interesting things.  

One thing is how little value I've attributed to the simple things that bring me immense joy - watching the twinkling white lights on the tree in our backyard, playing fetch with my cat (who thinks he's a dog), sleeping with an open window so I can hear the owls hoot at night, or listening to the rain without doing a damn thing but enjoying the sound.  

 It's so easy to put all of our energy into what we've been trained to value -advancing a career, making money, building a business, or completing our to-do lists.  In our drive to succeed, we tend to miss, (or dismiss) the events that bring us joy.  They seem secondary, a reward after a hard day’s work, or a peripheral pleasure we happen to stumble upon.

I'm making pleasure a primary goal.  I've been tracking the little things that bring me joy every day for over a year now and it's always a surprise at what makes the list.  Simple things.  Tiny things.  Things that often cost nothing at all.  

What if making space for pleasure in our busy, technology driven lives became a highly regarded goal?  How would life be different if we valued peace and delight and joy as much as (or more than) striving to succeed?  

What if...the little things that leave us breathless might be big things after all?

These are some of the questions I'm living with these days and I invite you to join me.

Take Action Challenge

This month, become aware of the little things that make you smile.  As you notice them, pay attention to how they make you feel.  If they feel good—really good— attach value to them immediately.  Tell yourself, This is the kind of experience that matters.  I want more of this in my life.  Awareness is a powerful motivator for change. If you keep up this practice, you'll start to see things change, almost effortlessly.

|2013-04-15 11:00:00|1||The Cheryl Richardson Blog|cheryl_richardson|0|cheryl richardson,stress,challenge,self-care,fulfillment,meaning,imagination,organizing,creativity How’s Your Potty Posture?|

Find liberation from incontinence.

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I overheard two women discussing urinary incontinence in the ladies room. One complained that coughing caused her to pee her pants. The other was upset because she leaks a little urine when she exercises. Unable to keep myself from responding to what I consider a woman’s health emergency, I said, “I’m a gynecologist. And in order to prevent this kind of urinary problem, you have to develop strong buttocks muscles and get in touch with your pelvic floor. I recommend peeing in the shower.” They were a little offended by my brash advice.

About one in four women suffers from urinary incontinence, the involuntary loss of urine when sneezing, coughing, or laughing. And even more have what’s called “urgency incontinence” when the urge to urinate is so strong that you fear you won’t get to the bathroom in time. Urinary problems in women are epidemic. In fact, the number one reason why older women have to go to nursing homes is…drum roll…urinary incontinence!

Did you know that the average woman suffers in silence for an average of seven years before she finally brings it up with her healthcare practitioner? When she does, usually she is told one of two things: take a drug or do Kegel exercises.

The drugs stop “urge incontinence” by blocking some of the nerve endings on the bladder’s main emptying muscle (the detrusor). When the muscle is less irritated, it’s less likely to contract involuntarily—and cause you to lose urine at an inconvenient time. These drugs have bothersome side effects, though, like dry mouth. And besides, like so much of modern medicine, they don’t really cure anything. They just mask the symptoms.

The Kegels strengthen the PC (pubococcygeous) muscle, which closes the sphincters of the pelvic floor and stops the flow of urine. Kegels are a step in the right direction. But they don’t address the function of the entire pelvic floor—they strengthen only one muscle. A strong, rigid muscle isn’t necessarily a functional, strong, flexible muscle. That’s where the squats in the shower come in.

When you squat to urinate as opposed to sitting up straight on the toilet, you automatically engage your butt muscles. And your pelvic floor naturally stretches and tones. Moreover, because your urethra is now pointed straight down all you have to do is relax for urine to flow out easily—as opposed to sitting up straight and having to strain to empty your bladder. The same thing is true with moving your bowels.

Before going on, I want to bust a popular myth that childbirth results in urinary incontinence. This is not true. Many teenage girls have incontinence. And so do nuns who have never had children. Yes, childbirth—especially when conducted without knowing how to push correctly—may weaken the pelvic floor for a time. But that is reversible.

So what do I recommend if you have urinary incontinence or are worried about it?

1. See a women’s health physical therapist who specializes in the pelvic floor. This relatively new specialty uses Pilates and other exercises to assist you in reclaiming a healthy and functional pelvic floor. The pelvic floor is all the muscles and tissue between your pubic bone and tailbone, and it holds in your bowels, bladder, and genital organs. When this part of your body isn’t strong or toned, your organs tend to fall out! That’s known as a prolapse. Prolapses can often be treated well with physical therapy alone. You don’t always need surgery.
2. When you sit on the toilet, put your elbows on your knees so that you are in a squatting position. Notice how much easier it is to empty your bladder or bowels. Better yet, get a stool and put it under your feet so that your body is comfortably seated in a squatting position. (Check out the squatty potty video to see what the proper position is.)
3. Strengthen your core. I have done Pilates for 15 years and can attest to its ability to strengthen one’s pelvic floor.
4. Read The Bathroom Key: Put an End to Incontinence by Kathryn Kassai and Kim Perelli or go to www.thebathroomkey.com for more resources and to locate a physical therapist in your area.

 

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

|2013-04-17 09:30:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|christiane northrup,urinary incontinence,incontinence,kegel exercises Mom—So Glad You Got a Life|

Mom—So Glad You Got a Life

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I talked to my friend Jane in a local restaurant a few weeks after her mother died. Her description of her relationship with her mother—and her sense of loss—touched me deeply. Because their relationship had been so good for so long, her grief was normal and expected—tinged with love, not regret or longing. Jane’s mother was very independent and didn’t make Jane responsible for her happiness. In many ways, this is the kind of relationship we all long for—one of ease, without guilt or obligation.

Jane told me that she and her mom spoke every night. She joked, “Mom always called to ask if I knew the final answer on Jeopardy.” She went on to say, “I really miss her. No one else in my life is ever going to care about me the way my mother did. The good news is that I really enjoyed her while she was here. We were really close.” We all want someone who loves us unconditionally and is available to witness the daily joys and sorrows of our lives.

This got me thinking about my own relationships, both with my mother and with my daughters. I realized that Jane’s nightly conversations with her mother were a sharp contrast to my own mother-daughter relationships. We’re all close. And we get along fine. But sometimes, I’ll go weeks without hearing from my mother—or she from me—depending on what else we are doing. My mother is often off on long camping trips across the country with no cell service. And my daughters both lead very full and busy lives. And so do I! So, believe it or not, it would never occur to me to check in with either my mother or my daughters every night.

Every one of us has a rich, social, and happy life. My oldest daughter recently moved home for a break from living in New York City, so she can do her creative work with less wear and tear. I brag that she was fully self-supporting in New York City, but clearly the time was right for a sabbatical. And so, it has been delightful to get to know her again after nearly ten years of her being away from home. We have dinner together most nights and also check in about our schedules. It’s a delight to watch her personal rebirth.

But often we go our separate ways. When she first got here, she asked me if it was all right for her to join my tango community and come dance with us. She loves it, but didn’t want to horn in on the social life that I have created for myself. I love that role reversal! The sophisticated woman from New York City returns home and wants in on her mother’s vibrant social life in Maine.

Earlier this year, I found that I was missing my youngest, who is starting a new business and has recently become engaged. She is often gone for weeks at a time, too. I had started to feel like “Plan B”—the person she would visit when no one better was available. After becoming aware of my discomfort and resentment, I shared my dilemma with her. Part of me was hesitant to ask for her company. I do not want to be a whiny, needy mother. And I’ll admit—being a mother makes me feel so darn vulnerable.

To my great relief, she, like my older daughter, was very enthusiastic about getting together regularly. The conversation with Jane made me realize how much I enjoy regular, fun, quality time with my daughters that doesn’t involve a birthday, holiday, or anything obligatory. So we now book mother-daughter dates into our schedules. And this has been delightful! No guilt. No obligation. Just enjoying each other’s company.

All three of us are living near each other again, enjoying a kind of reunion period. Sharing our lives, but in a new way. I no longer feel responsible for their choices. I speak up when something bothers me, and they do the same. There’s something so satisfying about this. When they left home for college and I was newly single, I realized that I had to “get a life” which didn’t include them. And I did. And so has my mother. And that is the key reason we are all together again—in joy and partnership.

 

What are your relationships like with the important women in your life? Do you think “getting a life” is a good strategy for having strong relationships? Please leave a comment.

 

Note: I'm planning to delve into the very complicated relationship between mothers and daughters in Lightening the Mother Load, my newest live online event. It starts May 9, 2013, so register now.

|2013-05-01 00:15:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|mothers day,mother-daughter relationship,mothers and daughters Love for the Making |

Please help yourself!

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There’s a wonderful new book coming out this week from my good friend, cell biologist and mystic, Bruce Lipton. I loved Bruce’s first book The Biology of Belief, which reveals his scientific findings on the power of belief to shape our lives. Science revealing that our thoughts can trump our DNA is nothing short of revolutionary.  In his new book, The Honeymoon Effect: The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth, Bruce takes on another subject of deep interest to every human being— love. He defines the Honeymoon Effect as “a state of bliss, passion, energy, and health resulting from a huge love.” Under the influence of this love, your life is so beautiful that you can’t wait to get up to start a new day and you thank the Universe that you are alive. Most of us have experienced this huge love, but for so many, it ends in disappointment or disappears in the clutter, distraction, and challenge of our everyday lives.

According to Bruce, the Honeymoon Effect is not a chance event or coincidence but a personal creation. We manifest our loving relationships. Once we understand how we create love and why we lose it, we can create the honeymoon experience again. Bruce’s book offers a wealth of fascinating and empowering knowledge—the influence of quantum physics, biochemistry, and psychology in creating and sustaining loving relationships. Using the 50 trillion cells that live harmoniously in every healthy human body as a model, he suggests that we can create not just honeymoon relationships for couples but also a “super organism” called humanity that can heal our planet.

I have read this amazing book twice (so far) and loved every minute I spent with it. It’s one of my favorite reads ever. I hope you’ll enjoy it, too. It’s a concise guide to the magic of love. There is no subject more crucial to our happiness and our ability to live and give at our highest capacity.

|2013-05-01 19:37:43|1||The Wayne Dyer Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0|wayne dyer,bruce lipton,honeymoon effect,relationships,love,manifesting,quantum physics A Wish for All Moms|

Getting a life that works for you.

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I talked to my friend Jane in a local restaurant a few weeks after her mother died. Her description of her relationship with her mother—and her sense of loss—touched me deeply. Because their relationship had been so good for so long, her grief was normal and expected—tinged with love, not regret or longing. Jane’s mother was very independent and didn’t make Jane responsible for her happiness. In many ways, this is the kind of relationship we all long for—one of ease, without guilt or obligation.

Jane told me that she and her mom spoke every night. She joked, “Mom always called to ask if I knew the final answer on Jeopardy.” She went on to say, “I really miss her. No one else in my life is ever going to care about me the way my mother did. The good news is that I really enjoyed her while she was here. We were really close.” We all want someone who loves us unconditionally and is available to witness the daily joys and sorrows of our lives.

This got me thinking about my own relationships, both with my mother and with my daughters. I realized that Jane’s nightly conversations with her mother were a sharp contrast to my own mother-daughter relationships. We’re all close. And we get along fine. But sometimes, I’ll go weeks without hearing from my mother—or she from me—depending on what else we are doing. My mother is often off on long camping trips across the country with no cell service. And my daughters both lead very full and busy lives. And so do I! So, believe it or not, it would never occur to me to check in with either my mother or my daughters every night.

Every one of us has a rich, social, and happy life. My oldest daughter recently moved home for a break from living in New York City, so she can do her creative work with less wear and tear. I brag that she was fully self-supporting in New York City, but clearly the time was right for a sabbatical. And so, it has been delightful to get to know her again after nearly ten years of her being away from home. We have dinner together most nights and also check in about our schedules. It’s a delight to watch her personal rebirth.

But often we go our separate ways. When she first got here, she asked me if it was all right for her to join my tango community and come dance with us. She loves it, but didn’t want to horn in on the social life that I have created for myself. I love that role reversal! The sophisticated woman from New York City returns home and wants in on her mother’s vibrant social life in Maine.

Earlier this year, I found that I was missing my youngest, who is starting a new business and has recently become engaged. She is often gone for weeks at a time, too. I had started to feel like “Plan B”—the person she would visit when no one better was available. After becoming aware of my discomfort and resentment, I shared my dilemma with her. Part of me was hesitant to ask for her company. I do not want to be a whiny, needy mother. And I’ll admit—being a mother makes me feel so darn vulnerable.

To my great relief, she, like my older daughter, was very enthusiastic about getting together regularly. The conversation with Jane made me realize how much I enjoy regular, fun, quality time with my daughters that doesn’t involve a birthday, holiday, or anything obligatory. So we now book mother-daughter dates into our schedules. And this has been delightful! No guilt. No obligation. Just enjoying each other’s company.

All three of us are living near each other again, enjoying a kind of reunion period. Sharing our lives, but in a new way. I no longer feel responsible for their choices. I speak up when something bothers me, and they do the same. There’s something so satisfying about this. When they left home for college and I was newly single, I realized that I had to “get a life” which didn’t include them. And I did. And so has my mother. And that is the key reason we are all together again—in joy and partnership.

What are your relationships like with the important women in your life? Do you think “getting a life” is a good strategy for having strong relationships? Please leave a comment on my Facebook page.

Note: I'm planning to delve into the very complicated relationship between mothers and daughters in Lightening the Mother Load, my newest live online event. It starts May 9, 2013, so register now.

 

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

|2013-05-06 10:45:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|christiane northrup,mothers day,mother-daughter relationships,mothers and daughters Give Yourself an Energy Boost|

Mix up a delicious power shake.

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I’m so happy that we now have a wonderful tool for healthy eating in the kitchen at our Hay House Carlsbad office—a Vitamix blender. You can often hear it humming in the mornings as my lovely staff fills it with their fruits, vegetables and greens to make a power drink. It’s a great way to enjoy all the delicious vegetables that are good for you all at once and power up your energy in the morning.

I like to use coconut water and add my favorite vegetables such as celery, lettuce, cucumbers, spinach, flax seeds and a bit of kale. You can also take a handful of berries for added sweetness. If you want it very cold, add a few ice cubes to the blender.

Whenever you follow a recipe in one of your favorite cookbooks, you can always adjust the ingredients to your taste.

Let’s affirm: Today I only eat foods that are life enhancing for me.

|2013-05-08 17:54:29|1|public://imports/3402.jpg|The Louise Hay Blog|louise_l_hay|0|louise hay,vitamix,power drink,smoothies,green drinks,cookbook Why the Inside Matters|

Be a vessel of love.

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I’m in the middle of what has become my annual Canada tour and it’s such a pleasure to feel all the love from my spiritual kinspeople here. I think of myself as “almost Canadian” since my parents were both born in Ontario, my father in Chatham in 1914 and my mother in Hamilton in 1916. I grew up in Detroit and Canada is part of my world. Last month I spoke at the Hay House I Can Do It Conference in Vancouver—wonderful and beautiful as always. And on June 29, I’ll be speaking at the Hay House I Can Do It Conference in Toronto. It’s the weekend before Canada Day on July 1 so maybe we’ll have some early fireworks to enjoy.

I have some great Canada stories, like the time I got lost in Vancouver’s Stanley Park and instead of my usual six miles ended up running a marathon before I found my way out! Lately, I’ve been sharing one of my favorite Toronto experiences with my audiences. It happened several years ago when an unsuspecting young man helped me illustrate an eternal truth we all need to be reminded of:

I was preparing to speak at an I Can Do It conference and I decided to bring an orange on stage with me as a prop for my lecture. I opened a conversation with a bright young fellow of about twelve who was sitting in the front row.

“If I were to squeeze this orange as hard as I could, what would come out?” I asked him.

He looked at me like I was a little crazy and said, “Juice, of course.”

“Do you think apple juice could come out of it?”

“No!” he laughed.

“What about grapefruit juice?”

“No!”

“What would come out of it?”

“Orange juice, of course.”

“Why? Why when you squeeze an orange does orange juice come out?”

He may have been getting a little exasperated with me at this point. “Well, it’s an orange and that’s what’s inside.”

I nodded. “Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why? The answer, as our young friend has told us, is because that’s what’s inside.”

It’s one of the great lessons of life.  What comes out when life squeezes you?  When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing—your mother, your brother, your children, your boss, the government. If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.

When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.  

Thanks, my young friend, and here’s an orange for you!

|2013-05-15 09:00:00|1||The Wayne Dyer Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0|wayne dyer,canada,vancouver,toronto,love,fear,negativity Honor Your Vulnerability|

Kick the habit of judging yourself.

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I'm a big fan of talent shows like The Voice (my current favorite), American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance.  I record the shows weekly (when each series airs) and I use them to motivate me to work out.  I have a rule:  I can watch a show as long as I'm moving on an exercise machine in our home gym.

I love these programs because I'm passionate about music, I love singing and dance, and I get so excited seeing people express their creativity and talent. Don't you just love that moment of magic when a performer seems to transcend time and space and become one with the audience and their art? Just think of Michael Jackson dancing in Thriller and you'll know what I mean.

 I also appreciate the fact that, more and more, these programs are showcasing the benefits of having a mentor or coach.  The feedback delivers clues as to what it takes to bring our best to the game.  The most common piece of advice is always the same: be yourself.  

The mentors on The Voice, for example, are always suggesting that the singers relax into who they are so they're better able to shine from the inside out without worrying about what others think.  Easier said than done, I know, especially when you're in the vulnerable position of being on stage in front of judges!

The funny thing about being yourself is that you have to lose your self-consciousness - the habit of judging yourself - in order to do it.  You need to become so immersed in the moment and within yourself that you begin to channel your pure creative spirit.  It's in this empowered state that we're able to not only do our best work, but also experience the blissful joy of creative expression.  As we link up with the Divinity in the present moment, we naturally connect with each other - the greater Oneness of all.  That's when the fun begins.

Learning to be fully ourselves without concern for the reactions, judgments, or expectations of others is a life-long journey.  Regardless of how confident and self-possessed you are there will always be times in life when you feel vulnerable and afraid to be yourself.  That's called living as a human being on planet earth.  

The important thing to remember is that self-consciousness is about you - not other people.  I made the mistake of thinking that my awkwardness on stage, for instance, was about my fear of how others might judge me.  But, I learned that my self-consciousness was really my fear of judging myself once I got off stage.  This is such an important piece of wisdom to understand (Thank you, Debbie Ford!).  I now have a blast on stage and, as a result, my audiences have fun learning, too.

The more you become your own best champion, supporter, cheerleader, and trusted confidant, the better able you'll be to fully and joyfully express your blessed creativity.  That's when your art becomes more and more successful in the world.

 It begins with treating yourself with love, respect, kindness, and compassion.  

 If you'd like to lose your self-consciousness and empower your creative spirit, start by answering the following questions:  

•    What do you need to do (or stop doing), right now, to become a better friend and supporter of yourself?    

•    What do you need to stop saying to yourself?  

•    What kind of encouragement do you need?    

•    Who do you need to spend more time with?  

•    Who do you need to avoid?

The answers to these questions will get you started on the road to fuller self-expression in a way that feels good - really good.

Take Action Challenge

Choose something to do every day to remind yourself that you are your very best cheerleader and supporter (mirror work is a great start).

|2013-05-22 01:15:00|1||The Cheryl Richardson Blog|cheryl_richardson|0|cheryl richardson,self concious,the voice,so you think you can dance,american idol,creativity,kindness,champion,coaching mentor Hay House World Summit FREE Online Event! June 1-10|

Join over 100 World-Renowned Teachers, including Dr. Wayne Dyer in this FREE Online Event as they share their stories, powerful exercises and advice on how to live your best life!

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We are so proud to introduce to you the first-ever Hay House Global Online World Summit, premiering June 1st to 10th, 2013.

Join over 100 World-Renowned Teachers, including Dr. Wayne Dyer in this FREE Online Event as they share their stories, powerful exercises and advice on how to live your best life!

As a special Thank You to the Wayne Dyer online community, and to celebrate the tradition of learning and sharing, Hay House has created a new, free, online event just for you: the Hay House World Summit.

Listen in June 1st-June 10th to over 100 hours of incredible wisdom as our experts share their stories, powerful exercises and practical advice on how to live your best life. Popular self-help authors and visionary teachers from an array of fields will sit down for enlightening conversations hosted by industry professionals and fellow authors.

Check out who’s joining in the conversation. Click here for the full schedule and daily happenings!

For 10 consecutive days you'll be able to learn from our incredible teachers on a variety of topics that are truly life changing. And this practical advice is easy to apply to your OWN Life!

And the best part is you'll be able to do it all…for FREE

|2013-05-13 09:44:18|1||Wayne Dyer News Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0| Have the Best World Summit Ever!|

7 Tips to Enhance Your Experience

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The Hay House World Summit is kicking off in just 2 more days…may I take a breath here and be honest with you? I’m feeling really anxious about this humongous global event.

It’s not that I’m worried about the World Summit running smoothly. I mean, everything is all in place now. The new Summit Websites are working beautifully. All of the 110 authors have been interviewed months ago and all of the programs are ready to go. The translations are all done, the emails are all created, and our affiliates are telling all their friends about this great opportunity.

So why am I so stressed? Okay, let’s do the math. The Hay House World Summit runs for 10 days. There are 11 one-hour interviews each day which means that there are more than 100 of the coolest authors to listen to. Plus, some of my favorite authors are being interviewed by some of my other favorite authors. So these conversations are going to be very intimate with never-before-heard personal advice about all the stuff I’m trying to put into perspective in my own life.

Here’s the thing that’s freaking me out: How in the world am I going to find the time to listen to all this great content? And how can I make sure that I don’t miss any of the juiciest moments and life-changing advice I’m meant to hear when meals need to be made, laundry needs to be done and deadlines need to be met?

When I shared these feelings with some of my coworkers, I noticed I wasn’t alone in my fears. So, together with the help of my creative comrades, we have come up with 7 easy steps to help you get the most out of your Hay House World Summit Experience.

Are you ready? Let’s go:

7 Ways to Enhance Your Hay House World Summit Experience

1.    Create Your Very Own Hay House World Summit Comfort Zone. Pick the most comfortable spot in your home or office where you’ll be listening to the Summit. Set up your computer/laptop/iPad there. Put your most comfortable pair of earphones or earbuds next to your monitor or device. Choose your coziest chair or couch. Add cushy pillows, Snuggie®, arm rests, back cushions, Hello Kitty slippers or other accessories to enhance comfort and promote relaxation.

2.    Dress Hay House World Summit-Wise. Since you’ll be sitting for many consecutive hours and listening to all these wonderful author conversations, you’ll want to wear your most comfortable clothing. This is not the time to pour yourself into a pair of constricted skinny jeans. How about a pair of Jeggings instead!  Choose loose-fitting outfits with plenty of room to stretch your arms and legs…and mind! We recommend smooth and relaxed fabrics such as cottons, satins or silks. Refrain from noisy corduroy or musical bracelets.

3.    Prepare Summit-Friendly Snacks and Beverages. It’s imperative that you keep hydrated and well-nourished while listening to these many hours of inspiring content! We suggest fixing nutritious snacks and beverages and keeping them within easy reach during the Hay House World Summit. We recommend nuts (raw almonds), power bars and certain fruits (berries, apples). Avoid leaky fruit (watermelon, loquats) that may compromise your keyboard. For more tips on healthy eating, remember to listen to Kris Carr, Julie Daniluk, Donna Gates and Marcelle Pick.

4.    Try Something New and Summit-Surprising. If you’re a Wayne Dyer groupie, Marianne Williamson’s biggest fan ever, or have one of the walls in your home wallpapered with Louise Hay affirmations, you could choose to listen to Wayne’s, Marianne’s or Louise’s one-hour interview 10 times during one entire day of the Hay House World Summit. However, we strongly advise that you peruse the schedule prior to the Summit, map out the authors you definitely want to hear and then pick out several new ones to listen to each day. There may be a new favorite you haven’t met yet.

5.    Keep Summit Props Handy. You’ll be listening to a variety of topics during the Hay House World Summit including meditation, affirmations, mediumship, angels, feng shui, yoga, prosperity, tapping, past lives, forgiveness. Remember to keep any props you may need within reach, so you can easily access them during the Hay House World Summit. Your checklist may include: notebook, pens, meditation or yoga mats, candles, angel cards, affirmation cards, crystals and pillows.

6.    Make Sure All Pets Are Summit-Trained. You certainly won’t want to be interrupted by the whimpering sound of your pet just when Doreen Virtue is explaining how you can call upon your angels or when John Holland is telling about messages from your deceased loved ones. So make sure you take little Feather, Bruiser, Poupon, Hurley and all your pets on their potty breaks and have them well fed and amused before the Summit. And while you’re at it, we recommend that you do the same for yourself!

7.    Turn Your Clock to Summit Time! What’s more important than taking care of YOU? Nothing! So put aside your to-do list, turn off your email alerts, silence your phone, and let your loved ones know that you’ll be busy for a few days. It’s Summit Time and you’re worth it!


Donna Abate
Website Manager
HealYourLife.com

|2013-05-30 12:17:22|1||Inside the Dust Jacket|hay_house|0|hay house,world summit,louise hay,wayne dyer,doreen virtue,kris carr,marcelle pick,julie daniluk,donna gates,meditation,affirmations,angels,tapping,forgiveness Astrology, Doctor? Are You Kidding?|

Astrology, Doctor? Are You Kidding?

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When someone asks me why astrology plays such an important role in my life, I know they don’t see astrology the way I do. Astrology connects us to the universe—to the whole. It helps us make meaning out of seemingly meaningless events, especially the ones that test our resolve. It imbues the universe with the magic that our souls crave.

Maybe it has something to do with my being an OB/GYN. The phrase “moon time” was used for eons as a euphemism for menstruation. Of course, once-upon-a-time women lived together in clans, and so forth, and their menstrual cycles were synchronized with both each other and the moon. And any Labor & Delivery ward will confirm that more babies are born during a full moon than any other time of the month.

So when someone questions my belief in astrology, I reply with some questions of my own: “Do you believe in the phases of the moon? Do you believe in the seasons?” And then I add, “Because astrology is about aligning with the forces that rule the moon, the tides, and the turning of the planets, and then finding your unique place within this system based on how the planets were lined up at the moment of your birth.”

Now let me give you a few “rules” when it comes to astrology:

1. Astrology is simply a tool—it has no power other than what you give it. It’s like checking the weather forecast to see if you should pack a raincoat.
2. Astrology gives you a roadmap for the journey of your soul. It’s designed to help you maximize access to your soul’s original blueprint. From time to time, I will look at someone’s chart with them. Invariably, the first thing he or she asks is, “Is it bad?” There aren’t any “bad” charts. Every chart has its challenges and its gifts.
3. Similarly, as astrologer Tosha Silver teaches, there are no “bad” transits if you know how to align with the Divine. No one is a victim of their astrologic chart—though it’s true that some aspects will test your soul’s resolve more than others. For example, wherever Saturn is going through your chart (a transit), it’s likely that that particular area of your life is undergoing a bit of “breakdown to breakthrough.” (The degree of orbiting Saturn in the sky coincides with a particular portion of your own natal chart—the position of the planets at the time of your birth. And each of these positions is associated with a different area of life, such as home and roots, partnerships, career, etc.) 
4. Sun Sign astrology, such as one sees in newspapers and magazines, is nothing more than an interesting parlor game. This form of astrology was started at the turn of the 20^th century to sell more newspapers. But the sun sign is just one aspect of your individual astrologic signature. And it won’t give you much information unless you also know your rising sign, moon sign, and the positions of your personal planets, including Venus, Mars, and Mercury.
5. When looking for a trustworthy person to work with or follow, avoid “doom and gloom” astrologers. These are the astrologers who call planets like Saturn “malefic”—as if a planet could reach down and make your life a living hell.

In May, I signed a contract to write a new book. Underneath my signature, I wrote, “New moon in Taurus, solar eclipse. ” New moons signify new beginnings, and when a new moon occurs with a solar eclipse, it’s a new moon on steroids! I loved the idea of marrying the energy of this particular new moon with the uber left-hemisphere legal contract, which I’d been negotiating for months. The fact that everything came together on this new moon felt highly significant to me—like the culmination of forces much bigger than my own rational intellect.

And that’s the whole point of astrology. Understanding that there are universal forces that act on us that are far greater than we know, and far greater than we can control, but with which we can work consciously for maximum effectiveness and fulfillment.

|2013-05-31 16:13:37|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|astrology My Delightful Conversation with Reid Tracy|

The many joys of Hay House.

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When I first started Hay House, I remember meeting this very tall young man who was to become our new accountant. I was sure he thought I was this crazy lady who believed that our thoughts could change our lives. I was amazed he lasted the first month with us! And now, he’s interviewing me for our new Hay House World Summit. The man I’m talking about is our CEO and my dear friend, Reid Tracy.

Oh, what fun we had getting this chance to sit down together for the first time in the 26 years we’ve known each other for our first taped interview! We reminisced about so many wonderful times… the beginning of Hay House back when such a thing as a self-help section did not exist in any bookstore or library, the Hay Rides we started to help the boys with AIDS, and the publishing of my first book which helped people realize that the way they think can truly change their lives for the better.  

Reid and I have shared such a rich and full life at Hay House, along with all of you, our loving circle of staff members, authors and friends. My how we have grown over the years!

I invite you to watch this video clip and join us as we reminisce and remember the many joys life has given us and the many lessons we have learned along the way.

P.S. This photo was taken just before the interview when I lovingly offered to be Reid’s make-up person for the video shoot.

I love you!

Let’s affirm: Change can begin in this moment. I am willing to change.

|2013-06-05 09:00:00|1|public://imports/3430.jpg|The Louise Hay Blog|louise_l_hay|0|louise hay,reid tracy,world summit,aids,life lessons The Real Rules of Astrology|

Charting the roadmap of your soul.

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When someone asks me why astrology plays such an important role in my life, I know they don’t see astrology the way I do. Astrology connects us to the universe—to the whole. It helps us make meaning out of seemingly meaningless events, especially the ones that test our resolve. It imbues the universe with the magic that our souls crave.

Maybe it has something to do with my being an OB/GYN. The phrase “moon time” was used for eons as a euphemism for menstruation. Of course, once-upon-a-time women lived together in clans, and so forth, and their menstrual cycles were synchronized with both each other and the moon. And any Labor & Delivery ward will confirm that more babies are born during a full moon than any other time of the month.

So when someone questions my belief in astrology, I reply with some questions of my own: “Do you believe in the phases of the moon? Do you believe in the seasons?” And then I add, “Because astrology is about aligning with the forces that rule the moon, the tides, and the turning of the planets, and then finding your unique place within this system based on how the planets were lined up at the moment of your birth.”

Now let me give you a few “rules” when it comes to astrology:

1. Astrology is simply a tool—it has no power other than what you give it. It’s like checking the weather forecast to see if you should pack a raincoat.

2. Astrology gives you a roadmap for the journey of your soul. It’s designed to help you maximize access to your soul’s original blueprint. From time to time, I will look at someone’s chart with them. Invariably, the first thing he or she asks is, “Is it bad?” There aren’t any “bad” charts. Every chart has its challenges and its gifts.

3. Similarly, as astrologer Tosha Silver teaches, there are no “bad” transits if you know how to align with the Divine. No one is a victim of their astrologic chart—though it’s true that some aspects will test your soul’s resolve more than others. For example, wherever Saturn is going through your chart (a transit), it’s likely that that particular area of your life is undergoing a bit of “breakdown to breakthrough.” (The degree of orbiting Saturn in the sky coincides with a particular portion of your own natal chart—the position of the planets at the time of your birth. And each of these positions is associated with a different area of life, such as home and roots, partnerships, career, etc.)

4. Sun Sign astrology, such as one sees in newspapers and magazines, is nothing more than an interesting parlor game. This form of astrology was started at the turn of the 20th century to sell more newspapers. But the sun sign is just one aspect of your individual astrologic signature. And it won’t give you much information unless you also know your rising sign, moon sign, and the positions of your personal planets, including Venus, Mars, and Mercury.

5. When looking for a trustworthy person to work with or follow, avoid “doom and gloom” astrologers. These are the astrologers who call planets like Saturn “malefic”—as if a planet could reach down and make your life a living hell.

In May, I signed a contract to write a new book. Underneath my signature, I wrote, “New moon in Taurus, solar eclipse. ” New moons signify new beginnings, and when a new moon occurs with a solar eclipse, it’s a new moon on steroids! I loved the idea of marrying the energy of this particular new moon with the uber left-hemisphere legal contract, which I’d been negotiating for months. The fact that everything came together on this new moon felt highly significant to me—like the culmination of forces much bigger than my own rational intellect.

And that’s the whole point of astrology. Understanding that there are universal forces that act on us that are far greater than we know, and far greater than we can control, but with which we can work consciously for maximum effectiveness and fulfillment.

 

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

|2013-06-12 10:00:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|christiane northrup,astrology,roadmap,horoscopes,new moon,sun sign,universe,menstrual cycle My Father’s Day Treat|

Thank you, thank you very much!

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I always joke that my kids’ favorite holiday is Father’s Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each of them a thank-you letter and a generous check. It’s my way of letting them know how much I appreciate the great pleasure and privilege of being their dad. I have eight children, with ages spanning more than 20 years. They have been powerful and important teachers in my life, always keeping me humble and grounded. Over the years, they have given some of my greatest material. If you have ever been to one of my speaking engagements, you’ve heard my stories about them and seen one or more of them on stage with me.

Poet and philosopher, Kahlil Gibran, said, “Your children are not your children….They come through you but not from you….though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.” Gibran advised looking at your children, divine beings that they are, with awe and wonder. You might strive to be like them, but don’t try to model them in your image. They are unique souls all their own. I like to say that before I had kids, I had eight theories about how to raise children. Now I have eight children and no theories!

I did have one practice, though, that I tried to implement. I didn’t want any of my children to be raised to believe that they were ordinary. I wanted them to always know that they were extraordinary. This is the foundation of faith for all of us. Know who you are –part of the invisible intelligence, a piece of God – stay connected, stay aligned and you will have all the power of that connection. Children need to know this. Most of us are raised to believe we are ordinary. The anchor of the universe is present in every child. A parent only needs to guide and step aside and let them fulfill their dharma. Help children remember that they can do or be anything. That’s the theme of all my books for children—helping kids believe that they are unstoppable, powerful, and can be anything they set their hearts on.

And so, kids, thanks for another year of making me smile, warming my heart, and reminding me that the love we share is our greatest blessing. Happy Father’s Day!

|2013-06-14 10:00:00|1||The Wayne Dyer Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0|wayne dyer,fathers day,parenting,family,father,children,dharma Whole, Complete, and Lacking in Nothing|

A couple years ago, I took a workshop with Jill Rogers called the Seven Sacred Steps. Jill started the workshop with a ritual in which she looked deep into each of our eyes and said, “You are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the truth of this statement from both a soul perspective and as a deep sadness because I still hadn’t found the love (spelled MAN) I was looking for in my life.

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A couple years ago, I took a workshop with Jill Rogers called the Seven Sacred Steps. Jill started the workshop with a ritual in which she looked deep into each of our eyes and said, “You are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the truth of this statement from both a soul perspective and as a deep sadness because I still hadn’t found the love (spelled MAN) I was looking for in my life.

Fast-forward a couple years. I now feel “whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” And guess what? This is NOT because Prince Charming finally rode up to my doorstep. Nope. It is because I have internalized some key things about independence and true love.

1.    In order to feel whole and complete, I first had to know the truth: I AM love. I don’t have to go looking for it. In fact, looking for love outside of myself (such as waiting for “THE” relationship to show up), is, quite possibly, the most agonizing dis-ease I’ve ever experienced. I’ve witnessed this in countless others as well.

2.    If I expect another person (child, parent, lover, boss, or employee) to complete me in any way, I will always be disappointed.

3.    Expectations are premature resentments. Yep—nothing is worse than expecting someone to “complete” you. And then, instead of showing up the way you want them to, they cancel a dinner, a date, an outing, or simply cannot be present with you.

4.    Resentments contribute to chronic degenerative disease, including high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and arthritis. Your health can’t afford them.

Having said all that, here is the paradox. None of us is an island. We need each other. We are herd creatures. Community equals immunity—science shows that the more diverse your interests and your social interactions, the better your health.

So what is the answer here? How is it possible to know yourself AS LOVE when part of you is longing to be held and touched and gazed at lovingly?

Follow the two steps below. The more you do the two steps below, the MORE you feel yourself AS LOVE. And the more whole you will feel.

 Step one: Feel it to heal it.

About 100% of us have unhealed childhood wounds that are still running our thoughts and our bodies to some extent. Like it or not, it is the unhealed five-year-old who is in the driver’s seat when you are lonely or upset. (See note) She’s the one providing the misguided solution to sit alone at night and devour a quart of New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream.

The unhealed child in each of us is longing to be held and touched and loved unconditionally. To heal HER, you must first allow her to express how she feels. Chances are good she still has some feelings that she has never dared express. And often they involve someone else, like Mom, Dad, or a love interest. You will KNOW who the person is who is still bugging you.

So give “your unhealed child” a hand towel and a sturdy wall. And let her snap that towel against the wall with a really good, satisfying snap while yelling: “I hate it when your heart is closed to me.” Keep banging that towel against the wall for about five minutes. Then give it a rest. Repeat daily for five days or so. Then take three days off. (This is another trick I learned from Jill Rogers.)

Another way to cleanse these emotions is to take an Epsom salt bath for 20 minutes. As the water drains out of the tub, imagine ALL the anger and hurt going right down the drain.

Repeat as necessary. This is a process, not an event.

Step two: Create community based on your desires.

As I said earlier, we are herd creatures. And we need each other. Years ago, I told my daughters this truth: Everyone is looking for a good gig. Every one of us wants to be invited to a good party. We are ALL looking for the people, places, and events that feel like HOME to us. Like in the old television show Cheers, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.”

When my daughters left home for college, I was struck by the fact that their colleges had meticulously planned and orchestrated the orientation process in such a way that friendships and community were virtually guaranteed. The colleges knew that the relationships they formed at this pivotal moment would likely last a lifetime—or at least during their four years of schooling.

Back then, I was newly divorced—and felt cut adrift from the social life I had known—and I couldn’t help but think that midlife adults needed what my daughters were experiencing as freshmen. But it didn’t exist. So instead of continuing to feel lonely, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and pursue an unfulfilled desire.

I had always wanted to learn how to dance. I started there. Without a partner. And without knowing a soul. Dancing was my true north. Now I have my community—we dance close-embrace tango, cook meals, go sailing, and go to movies. I feel whole, and complete, and lacking in nothing. And each day life gets better.

You can do exactly the same thing! With a little creative thinking, you’ll see that there are plenty of things you can do on your own that won’t make you feel alone. There’s no time like the present to pursue one of your burning, unfulfilled desires. Chances are it will open you up to new people and experiences that you’ll enjoy more than you ever thought possible. Just remember: YOU are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing. Hold onto that feeling, and let the Law of Attraction work its magic.

Note: To know the age of your inner child in need of healing, pick a number between one and ten. Whatever age first comes to mind is the age of the child in charge.

Have you ever felt you were lacking or incomplete? If so, how did you deal with your discomfort? Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and tried something new as a way to meet new people or develop a new side of yourself? I would love to hear what you think. I welcome any and all comments. And please share this blog with anyone you think could benefit from reading it.

|2013-07-01 06:30:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|flourish,self-esteem,relationships,flourishing,independence,tango Everything I Needed to Know…|

I learned from the World Summit.

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“If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.”

– Turkish Proverb

Tell me something. Were you as blown away by the Hay House World Summit as I was? Did you take the time to really tune in?

Okay, I admit it. With all the work I had to do during the 10 days of the Summit, I only listened to a couple of full interviews and then a few snippets when they were LIVE. What else could I do? I was so busy writing emails and creating newsletters and doing my to-do list, I didn’t get a chance to find enough time in my day to sit down and actually absorb the messages from these interviews.

But the Hay House World Summit was so cool. It had a ton of rich content! There were so many authors I loved in the line-up and I really wanted to hear what they had to say. I knew I’d be missing something big here if I didn’t somehow find a way to give it my ear.

So last week, I decided to download 10 of them on my iPod so I could listen more attentively. And the place I figured I could do this was in my car driving to and from work. I thought this would be a great start. So I took out my Summit author list, dusted off my rusty intuition and picked 10 that shouted “You need to listen to me!”

Well, my head is still spinning. I have picked up so many gems of wisdom from these interviews that I can’t wipe this crazy smile off my face! My family and friends can’t imagine why I’m beaming so brightly these days. I have been running into the office, stopping anyone I can to tell them how moved I am by these programs. I’m falling in love with some of our authors all over again by their beautiful stories and frankly, I’m not meeting a couple of my deadlines because I’m so hungry to listen to more! One day, one of my coworkers even caught me sitting in my car after it was time to start work because I had to finish one of the interviews!

I haven’t listened to all 110 of the Summit authors yet. But after experiencing so many wonderful changes in my attitude and my life just listening to about 20 of them, I will put it in writing right now. I WILL listen to them all.

In the meantime, since I certainly can’t keep all of these awe-inspiring lessons to myself, I have compiled a list of 10 Gems To Live By, Compliments of the Hay House World Summit.

10 GEMS TO LIVE BY, Compliments of the Hay House World Summit

1.    If you want to live forever, love somebody. (Bernie Siegel)

2.    Hug yourself every day. (Kris Carr)

3.    Life is precious. (Robert Thurman)

4.    Stop blaming others and yourself. When you find forgiveness, you find who you really are. (Abraham)

5.    If you spend your life trying to make everybody happy, you spend your life. (Cheryl Richardson)

6.    You inherited pessimistic thinking from your ancestors. (Joan Borysenko)

7.    Don’t look for the answers. Live the questions and life will move you into the answers. (Deepak Chopra)

8.    Do what brings you life. (Alan Cohen)

9.    There is always hope to heal. (Fabrizio Mancini)

10.     You’re pretty wonderful just the way you are. (Louise Hay)

By the way, I was in a meeting here at Hay House the other day and I heard some very COOL news about another big online event coming early next year. I’m sworn to secrecy, but I can tell you this: The Hay House World Summit was only the beginning.

Keep Calm and Listen On!
Donna Abate
Website Manager
HealYourLife.com

 

|2013-06-26 10:30:00|1||Inside the Dust Jacket|hay_house|0|world summit,listening,life lessons,joan borysenko,alan cohen,louise hay,cheryl richardson,kris carr,bernie siegel,robert thurman,deepak chopra,fabrizio mancini Letters of Love|

Finding the answers you seek.

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I spent the day today reading some of the many letters that you, dear ones, send to me. I usually sit in my cozy chair by the window and hold your letters close to my heart as I read them.

I am filled with such gratitude when I see these letters coming from different cities and countries. I am so blessed that my work has reached all corners of the world.

I particularly love when these letters come from children and young people. When I hear that today’s youth are doing their affirmations and reading my books, I am filled with an abundance of joy. Now they will discover their own power and inner wisdom and strength. Now they will find the answers they seek.

Let’s affirm: The answers are within me. I only need to open my mind and heart to find them.

|2013-07-08 18:00:37|1|public://imports/3452.jpg|The Louise Hay Blog|louise_l_hay|0|louise hay,letters,gratitude,letters to louise,affirmations,inner wisdom The Secret Garden|

Where we find peace and power.

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When I was 10 years old, my mother remarried and she was able to reunite our family for the first time since I was a baby. My slightly older brother Dave and I had lived in foster homes together all those years.  There we were at last, all under the same roof again, my wonderful mother, my not-so-wonderful alcoholic stepfather, my oldest brother, Jim, whom I barely knew, Dave and me. We lived in a tiny duplex that year that I entered the 4th grade at Chester Arthur School. My teacher Mrs. Engel had a rule that if the class was quiet and well-behaved, she would read aloud to us from 2:45 until 3:10 when it was time to go home.  I took it upon myself to be the classroom enforcer and keep the other kids in line because I really wanted to hear that story. (Here’s where I first learned that I could influence people when coming from a positive place.)

Mrs. Engel was reading to us from The Secret Garden. Does anyone remember that classic children’s book? It was written by British author Frances Hodgson Burnett and first published in 1911. I loved being read to and I really loved this story about a little orphan girl named Mary. Mary goes to live with her uncle in the English countryside and, with two new friends, she discovers a lost rose garden that magically heals their lives. The Secret Garden is really about a secret place in each one of us—a place that we can escape to, a place where we can do anything, create anything we want for ourselves. We can make the world come alive, we can create miracles. I, too, had a secret garden that enabled me to deal with the instability of my life, all the places and people I had had to adjust to. I had some crazy experiences as a little boy, some of it abusive and nasty—some of it wonderful and great. I just kept getting new experiences all the time, but somehow I always knew that I could go within and get quiet and be and do anything. I think that knowing had something to do with the way my life has gone—writing 41 books, all about the power of the mind to enable us to be and do, to create anything we want for ourselves.

Whatever the divine power is that is moving the checkers of life around, it all fits together. That divine power saw someone who wanted to teach self-reliance and gave him a life as an orphan. I was also given a brother, older but smaller and weaker, who needed to be taken care of. This is how I’ve come to look at my life—the way all the pieces seem to fit together. I’m asking you to look at your life like this, too. Instead of looking  with regret, instead of looking with fear, anger, pain, and sadness, try looking at your life from a perspective that the whole thing is divinely orchestrated. It’s the most amazing shift.

|2013-07-10 09:30:00|1||The Wayne Dyer Blog|dr_wayne_w_dyer|0|wayne dyer,secret garden,frances hodgson burnett,childrens books,family,school days,divine power,healing,life purpose Who Says You Need Someone to Complete You?|

You Are the Whole Package—LOVE!

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A couple years ago, I took a workshop with Jill Rogers called the Seven Sacred Steps. Jill started the workshop with a ritual in which she looked deep into each of our eyes and said, “You are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the truth of this statement from both a soul perspective and as a deep sadness because I still hadn’t found the love (spelled MAN) I was looking for in my life.

Fast-forward a couple years. I now feel “whole, complete, and lacking in nothing.” And guess what? This is NOT because Prince Charming finally rode up to my doorstep. Nope. It is because I have internalized some key things about independence and true love.

1.    In order to feel whole and complete, I first had to know the truth: I AM love. I don’t have to go looking for it. In fact, looking for love outside of myself (such as waiting for “THE” relationship to show up), is, quite possibly, the most agonizing dis-ease I’ve ever experienced. I’ve witnessed this in countless others as well.

2.    If I expect another person (child, parent, lover, boss, or employee) to complete me in any way, I will always be disappointed.

3.    Expectations are premature resentments. Yep—nothing is worse than expecting someone to “complete” you. And then, instead of showing up the way you want them to, they cancel a dinner, a date, an outing, or simply cannot be present with you.

4.    Resentments contribute to chronic degenerative disease, including high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and arthritis. Your health can’t afford them.

Having said all that, here is the paradox. None of us is an island. We need each other. We are herd creatures. Community equals immunity—science shows that the more diverse your interests and your social interactions, the better your health.

So what is the answer here? How is it possible to know yourself AS LOVE when part of you is longing to be held and touched and gazed at lovingly?

Follow the two steps below. The more you do the two steps below, the MORE you feel yourself AS LOVE. And the more whole you will feel.

 Step one: Feel it to heal it.

About 100% of us have unhealed childhood wounds that are still running our thoughts and our bodies to some extent. Like it or not, it is the unhealed five-year-old who is in the driver’s seat when you are lonely or upset. (See note) She’s the one providing the misguided solution to sit alone at night and devour a quart of New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream.

The unhealed child in each of us is longing to be held and touched and loved unconditionally. To heal HER, you must first allow her to express how she feels. Chances are good she still has some feelings that she has never dared express. And often they involve someone else, like Mom, Dad, or a love interest. You will KNOW who the person is who is still bugging you.

So give “your unhealed child” a hand towel and a sturdy wall. And let her snap that towel against the wall with a really good, satisfying snap while yelling: “I hate it when your heart is closed to me.” Keep banging that towel against the wall for about five minutes. Then give it a rest. Repeat daily for five days or so. Then take three days off. (This is another trick I learned from Jill Rogers.)

Another way to cleanse these emotions is to take an Epsom salt bath for 20 minutes. As the water drains out of the tub, imagine ALL the anger and hurt going right down the drain.

Repeat as necessary. This is a process, not an event.

Step two: Create community based on your desires.

As I said earlier, we are herd creatures. And we need each other. Years ago, I told my daughters this truth: Everyone is looking for a good gig. Every one of us wants to be invited to a good party. We are ALL looking for the people, places, and events that feel like HOME to us. Like in the old television show Cheers, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.”

When my daughters left home for college, I was struck by the fact that their colleges had meticulously planned and orchestrated the orientation process in such a way that friendships and community were virtually guaranteed. The colleges knew that the relationships they formed at this pivotal moment would likely last a lifetime—or at least during their four years of schooling.

Back then, I was newly divorced—and felt cut adrift from the social life I had known—and I couldn’t help but think that midlife adults needed what my daughters were experiencing as freshmen. But it didn’t exist. So instead of continuing to feel lonely, I decided to get out of my comfort zone and pursue an unfulfilled desire.

I had always wanted to learn how to dance. I started there. Without a partner. And without knowing a soul. Dancing was my true north. Now I have my community—we dance close-embrace tango, cook meals, go sailing, and go to movies. I feel whole, and complete, and lacking in nothing. And each day life gets better.

You can do exactly the same thing! With a little creative thinking, you’ll see that there are plenty of things you can do on your own that won’t make you feel alone. There’s no time like the present to pursue one of your burning, unfulfilled desires. Chances are it will open you up to new people and experiences that you’ll enjoy more than you ever thought possible. Just remember: YOU are whole, complete, and lacking in nothing. Hold onto that feeling, and let the Law of Attraction work its magic.

Note: To know the age of your inner child in need of healing, pick a number between one and ten. Whatever age first comes to mind is the age of the child in charge.

Have you ever felt you were lacking or incomplete? If so, how did you deal with your discomfort? Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and tried something new as a way to meet new people or develop a new side of yourself? I would love to hear what you think. I welcome any and all comments. And please share this blog with anyone you think could benefit from reading it.

This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.

|2013-07-17 10:15:00|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|flourish,self-esteem,christiane northrup,relationships,flourishing,independence,tango Estrogen Dominance: A True Balancing Act|

Estrogen Dominance: A True Balancing Act

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The conventional view of what happens at perimenopause is that estrogen levels plummet. This is a gross oversimplification and too often leads to treatment that can make mildly uncomfortable symptoms worse. In natural menopause, the first hormonal change that occurs is a gradual decline in levels of progesterone, while estrogen levels remain within the normal range or even increase. Because progesterone and estrogen are meant to counterbalance each other throughout the menstrual cycle, with one falling while the other rises and vice versa, an overall decline in progesterone allows estrogen levels to go unopposed—that is, without the usual counterbalance. The result is a relative excess of estrogen, a condition that is often called estrogen dominance—which is precisely the opposite of the conventional view.

Symptoms of Decreased Progesterone And Estrogen Dominance

•    Decreased sex drive

•    Irregular or otherwise abnormal periods (most often, excessive vaginal bleeding)

•    Bloating (water retention)

•    Breast swelling and tenderness

•    Mood swings (most often irritability and depression)

•    Weight gain (particularly around the abdomen and hips)

•    Cold hands and feet

•    Headaches, especially premenstrually

If a woman begins to experience uncomfortable symptoms at this stage, it’s because her body can sense—and attempts to adjust to—that relative estrogen excess. Estrogen excess is also exacerbated by high insulin and stress hormones. Unfortunately, however, there’s a great deal of overlap in the symptoms of various hormone imbalances, and it’s not uncommon for a woman experiencing symptoms of estrogen or stress hormone excess to be given a prescription for more estrogen or even antidepressants. Not surprisingly, her mild symptoms can worsen as a result.

As the transition goes on, progesterone continues to decline, and eventually estrogen levels may begin to swing widely. The estrogen highs occur because the ovaries have begun to allow entire groups of follicles to grow and mature during successive menstrual cycles, instead of only one at a time, as though attempting to hurriedly “spend” those remaining eggs. (This is the reason why the incidence of twin pregnancies increases with age.) The progesterone decline occurs because fewer and fewer of those maturing eggs actually complete the entire ovulation process.

The ovaries are the organs that we focus on most commonly at menopause, but the physical foundation of a woman’s menopausal experience actually rests on the health of all her endocrine (hormone-producing) organs. Thyroid problems are very common during the perimenopausal and postmenopausal years. While many women with these problems are completely asymptomatic, others may have a wide variety of symptoms. Among the most common symptoms are mood disturbances (most often seen in the form of depression and irritability), low energy level, weight gain, mental confusion, and sleep disturbances. (See chart above for similarities.)

Thyroid problems are intimately intertwined with menopause. According to the late John R. Lee, M.D., a noted clinician and author, there appears to be a cause-and-effect relationship between hypothyroidism, in which there are inadequate levels of thyroid hormone, and estrogen dominance. When estrogen is not properly counterbalanced with progesterone, it can block the action of the thyroid hormone, so even when the thyroid is producing normal levels of the hormone, the hormone is rendered ineffective and the symptoms of hypothyroidism appear. In this case, laboratory tests may show normal thyroid hormone levels in a woman’s system, because the thyroid gland itself is not malfunctioning.

It is no surprise, then, that this problem is compounded when a woman is prescribed supplemental estrogen, leading to an even greater imbalance. In that circumstance, a prescription for supplemental thyroid hormone will fail to correct the underlying problem: estrogen dominance.

To better understand this balancing act, and to learn the many options for addressing estrogen dominance, including hormone testing and more, check out Chapter 5 “Hormone Therapy: An Individual Choice” in The Wisdom of Menopause paperback or ebook edition.  

 

© Christiane Northrup, Inc. All rights reserved. Excerpted with permission from The Wisdom of Menopause eBook, by Christiane Northrup, M.D. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.

|2013-07-22 06:42:52|1||The Christiane Northrup Blog|dr_christiane_northrup|0|estrogen,estrogen dominance,menopause,progesterone,hormones Pushing Yourself Too Hard?|

Wait till the energy moves you.

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Move when the energy moves you. Several years ago my friend Max said this to me when I was complaining about needing to get my butt in the office to clear my desk. I was in no mood to work, yet I felt so emotionally badgered by the piles on my desk that I was desperate to get them handled so I could stop thinking about it and relax.

Max suggested that rather than force myself to do something my body and mind clearly wasn't ready to do, I should honor my own natural flow of energy. Her prescription was simple: If you have the energy to do something, do it. If you don't, don't do it. Sounds great, I said, but what about the nagging voices in my head that tell me I have to get things done first? Ah, you see, this isn't about your to-do list or your cluttered desk she said. This is about your mind. You need to learn to manage your mind by telling it to rest while you wait for the energy you need to get a task completed.

Max is so wise.  Over the years I've learned to pay attention to her advice.  She knows me better than most and has an uncanny way of always pointing me in the right direction.

If you move with the energy rather than against it, she continued, you'll not only be happier, you'll get more done in less time. But remember, you have to be brave enough to challenge the voices in your head that tell you you're shirking your responsibilities or that if you wait too long, the energy may never come.

 I'd always had a tough time letting myself enjoy life until my work was all done. And work could mean anything - the last dish had to be put in the dishwasher, the laundry needed to be washed and dried, or my office paperwork had to be all filed away. Like so many of us, I was seduced by the myth that if I could just get everything done, I'd finally be able to rest and enjoy myself. Not anymore, thanks to Max.

That conversation long ago shifted the way I live my life. Rather than force myself to do anything, I do my best to wait for the energy - the motivation or desire - to get the job done. When I can, I never push myself to do something I don't want to do. Instead I trust that when the time is right, it will happen. And it's never let me down.

As a matter of fact, by doing things like sitting once a week and responding to most of my emails rather than disrupting my day and replying as they come in, I not only get to enjoy my life, I'm far more productive. When I finally have the energy to reply, I not only get them done in a short amount of time, my responses are better. Or, when I let my inbox fill a bit more than normal because I don't feel like sitting at my desk, I easily plow through the paperwork when I feel motivated and ready to do so. I've been amazed to see work done in two hours that used to take eight.

You can easily begin to apply this principle to what you do at home, but what about at work? Being self-employed affords me the ability to more easily follow my own natural rhythms. It's one of the things I love most about owning my own company. But it can also work when you work for someone else.

Rather than beat yourself into submission to get an expense report finished, for instance, why not do something else while holding the intention that you'll get the report done as soon as you have the energy? Then, simply go about completing other tasks while waiting to feel motivated to complete the report. The energy might come in an hour, later in the afternoon, or the following week, but it will come. As a matter of fact, your willingness to practice this technique will not only give you the evidence you need to trust it, you'll probably find the motivation sooner rather than later when you stop pushing yourself.

So, are you ready to try a new way of being in the world? The next time you catch yourself pushing your body to do something you don't want to do, stop. Tell your mind to relax and wait for the energy. Give it time and you won't be disappointed. Before you know it, you'll move when the energy moves you, too!

Take Action Challenge

This week, become aware of when you push against yourself and your natural flow of energy. As you start your day, ask yourself whether or not you have the desire to do what you're about to do. If it feels like a yes, go for it. If not, wait. By practicing this new way of being, you'll gather evidence that when the energy is right, it's the right time to act.