Happiness is attainable for moms, of course, but in general, it requires more self-care, organization, and effort than before. While being a mom will bring you some of your highest highs, it might also bring you some of your lowest lows. It can introduce more work into your daily life as well as stress and strain into your marriage. Exhaustion also plays a huge factor in feeling unhappy and overwhelmed.

One of the biggest keys to happiness as a mom is living in the moment and being completely present with whomever you’re with or the task at hand. This can be tough when your mind is racing about all of your unfinished tasks. When you find your thoughts running rampant, take a few deep breaths and bring yourself 100 percent back to the present moment. It is so beautiful and life changing when you figure out how to snap yourself into fully experiencing your life!

Sit down with a pen and paper and really figure out what brings you satisfaction and joy. Does your writing reveal that you miss time pursuing your passions or how much you love fashion, singing, dancing, or taking pictures? Is it most important for you to spend focused time with your children each day? Do you want to make your relationship with your husband a bigger priority in your life? Then try to live in a way that is in alignment with these things as much as possible.

Of course, a neat and clean house is important, but you cannot let yourself stress about it all day long—or sacrifice your happiness for it. Kids make houses messy, so you might as well wait until the end of the day to pick everything up. As your children grow up, be sure to train them to pick up after themselves.

I have a few tasks to do around the house every morning and evening, but in between I do not think about them. I used to find myself ruminating about the dirty dishes and laundry piling up all day long, when I should have been enjoying my kids. It’s easy to let the myriad of household tasks overwhelm you to the point that you don’t enjoy your relationships or what you are doing in the moment.

Every day is different, and sometimes you just have to let things go. As I write this paragraph, sitting at my kitchen barstool, I look around and see that I’ve really let things go this week to the point where it is starting to affect my happiness and sense of inner peace. The sink has a few dirty dishes, the floor beneath my preschooler’s spot at the table is full of crumbs, and the counter has a pile of unread mail and my kindergartner’s papers from her week at school. It has been a long week at work, and tonight I would love to sit here with my favorite dark chocolate and my new laptop, imagining and then writing about how I can contribute to making the world a better place.

However, things in my house have gotten to the point where it is no longer peaceful. I am going to balance my time by listening to an awesome podcast for a half hour while getting my house under control. I will do as much as I can in that time, and then I will just have to live with the rest of the mess until tomorrow.

Another key to happiness is nurturing your interests and relationships outside of your children. My greatest hope is that I can inspire moms to take better care of themselves and maintain what makes them great as individuals, not just as good moms. Being yourself and staying fabulous and interesting only makes you a better mother. Being happy is contagious, and being joyful and present sets a great example for your children. How you treat yourself will teach your children how to treat themselves. Devoting yourself completely to your children while neglecting yourself will not benefit anyone in the long run. I am not saying that you should neglect your children but rather that you should care for and love yourself so you can better care for and love your family.

Plan things to look forward to each day, such as fun outings with your girlfriends and kids. Explore your surroundings to find the best places to take a newborn and your older kids, such as a local library or park. Meet a friend for coffee. Find joy in little rituals like sipping a delicious cup of tea or watering your beautiful flowers. Be present with your family, and don’t get bogged down in the minutiae of everyday life. Get up and seize each day!

One thing that has brought me so much joy is praying or meditating early in the morning before my family wakes up. When the children get out of bed, our morning ritual is to snuggle up and read a few of their favorite books in my comfy chair by a big window. It starts the day out right, in contrast to the mornings where we all sleep in and have to rush somewhere.

Taking the time to really enjoy your life as a mother will help you create a happy life. Strive to see your new child as a gift that brings you great joy and pushes you to grow as a woman. At the same time, acknowledge that being a mom is not the only thing that defines you. You are still the same talented, beautiful woman with something very special to offer the world. Don’t forget that woman, and don’t forget that you are One Hot Mama!