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Love Affirmations by Louise Hay - Learning How to Love Yourself

Personal relationships always seem to be the first priority for so many of us. Unfortunately, hunting for love doesn’t always attract the right partner because our reasons for wanting love may be unclear. We think, Oh, if I only had someone who loved me, my life would be so much better. That’s not the way it works.

There’s a big difference between the need for love, and being needy for love.
When you’re needy for love, it means that you’re missing love and approval from the most important person you know—yourself. You may become involved in relationships that are codependent and ineffectual for both partners.

Learning How to Love Yourself with Affirmations

You can never create love in your life by talking or thinking about being lonely. Feeling lonely and needy just pushes people away. Nor can you heal a relationship in your life by talking or thinking about how awful it is. This only places attention on what’s wrong. You want to turn your thoughts away from the problem and create new thoughts that will produce a solution. Arguing for your limitations is just resistance, and resistance is simply a delay tactic. It’s another way of saying, “I’m not good enough to have what I’m asking for.”

 How to Heal Your Relationships by Loving Yourself

The first relationship to improve is the one you have with yourself. When you’re happy with and love yourself, then all of your other relationships improve, too. A happy person is very attractive to others. If you’re looking for more love, then you need to love yourself more. This means no criticism, no complaining, no blaming, no whining, and no choosing to feel lonely. It means being very content with yourself in the present moment and choosing to think thoughts that make you feel good now.


There’s no one way to experience love, for we all experience love in different ways. For some of us to really experience love, we need to feel love, through being hugged and touched. Some of us, however, need to hear the words “I love you.” Others need to see a demonstration of love, like a gift of flowers. Our preferred way of experiencing love is often the way we feel most comfortable demonstrating it back. Show the love you have for yourself. Treat yourself to romance and love. Show yourself how special you are. Pamper yourself. Buy yourself flowers for your home; and surround yourself with colors, textures, and scents that please you.


Life always mirrors back to us the feelings we have inside. As you develop your inner sense of self-love and romance, the right person to share your growing sense of intimacy with will be attracted to you like a magnet.

If you want to go from loneliness thinking to fulfillment thinking, then you need to think in terms of creating a loving mental atmosphere within you and around you. Do let all those negative thoughts about love and romance just fade away; and instead, think about sharing love, approval, and acceptance with everyone you meet.

When You Love Yourself, Your Relationships Improve

When you’re able to contribute to the fulfillment of your own needs, then you won’t be so needy and codependent. It has to do with how much you love yourself. When you truly love who you are, you stay centered, calm, and secure, and your relationships at home as well as at work are wonderful. You’ll find yourself reacting to various situations and people differently. Matters that once may have been desperately important won’t seem quite as crucial anymore. New people will enter your life, and perhaps some old ones will disappear—this can be kind of scary at first—but it can also be wonderful, refreshing, and exciting.


Once you’re clear about this issue in your mind, and you know what you want in a relationship, you must go out and be with people. No one is going to suddenly appear at your doorstep. A good way to meet people is at a support group or night class. These types of get-togethers enable you to connect with people who are like-minded or who are involved in the same pursuits. It’s amazing how quickly you can meet new friends. Be open and receptive, and the Universe will respond to you, bringing you your highest good.

Remember, when you think joyous thoughts, and say love affirmations, you’ll be a happy person, everyone will want to be with you, and all of your current relationships will improve.

Affirmations for Love by Louise Hay

From time to time, I ask those I love, “How can I love you more?”

• I choose to see clearly with eyes of love. I love what I see.

• Love happens! I release the desperate need for love, and instead, allow it to find me in the perfect time-space sequence.

• Love is around every corner, and joy fills my entire world.

• I have come to this planet to learn to love myself more, and to share that love with all those around me.

• My partner is the love of my life. We adore each other.

• Life is very simple. What I give out comes back to me. Today I choose to give love.

• I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.

• I am comfortable looking in the mirror, saying, “I love you, I really love you.”

• I now deserve love, romance, and joy—and all the good that life has to offer me.

• Love is powerful—your love and my love.

• Love brings us peace on earth.

• Love is all there is!

• I am surrounded by love. All is well.

• My heart is open. I speak with loving words.

• I have a wonderful lover, and we are both happy and at peace.

• Deep at the center of my being is an infinite well of love.

• I am in a joyous, intimate relationship with a person who truly loves me.

• I come from the loving space of my heart, and I know that love opens all doors.

• I am beautiful, and everybody loves me.

• I am greeted by love wherever I go.

• I am safe in all my relationships, and I give and receive lots of love.

• I attract only healthy relationships. I am always treated well.

• I am very thankful for all the love in my life. I find it everywhere.

• Long-lasting, loving relationships brighten my life.

Excerpted from I Can Do It: How to Use Affirmations to Change Your Life by Louise L. Hay. Copyright © 2004 (Hay House).


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