Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love. – A Course in Miracles
What Is love?
Love as a verb from the Old English, lufian, means to love, cherish, show love to; delight in, approve. The action of love then is to treat someone with appreciation and acceptance. And when we love ourselves first, the doors to freedom, peace, healing and fulfillment are opened to us and help us live our lives as intended. Where there is love, anything is possible.
A Course in Miracles tells us there is only love or a call to love. Consider this your call to love if you are struggling in finding your path, peace, or contentment in relationships. Love is the key to living a fulfilling and purposeful life and it all begins with you.
The First Step – Loving Yourself
“Life is really very simple. What we give out, we get back. Every thought we think is creating our future.” - Louise Hay
You know how this is going to go, right? Before you can love another, you must first fall in love with yourself. Why? Well, because in order to attract the kind of love you want in your life, you have to give that love to yourself, so you know, without a doubt, that you are full and your life has meaning and that you are able to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated by others, and especially by a lover.
Baby, Don’t Hurt Me
When we are vulnerable and open ourselves to loving another, hurt is bound to happen. When you love yourself, you trust that you can recover from being hurt. We all look at life through a different lens, so how we show up in relationships varies. The biggest variance manifests in how we feel about ourselves. If you don’t take time to care for you, to honor your needs, and to carve out time for your passions, no lover will. No person will enter your life and save you from yourself. You are your salvation. You are your best lover and best friend. Treating yourself this way is not only the best way to find a lover, but it is also the only way to really feel full, complete and happy, no matter if someone is by your side or not.
Don’t Give Up On You
“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don't wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” - Alan Cohen
Life gets complicated and a bit overwhelming at times, especially if you’re struggling with finding love in yourself. Looking outward to fill the emptiness creates a perpetual cycle of disappointment. You cannot give to others what you first refuse to give yourself. If you find yourself saying, “If only I could meet my soul mate,” or “If only I could find a partner who loves me for who I am,” or “My life will be better when I find true love,” you may be setting yourself up for more hurt, more disappointment and an endless well of emptiness because you haven’t given to yourself that which you most want to receive. The good news is you don’t need anyone to give you what you can give to yourself. When you love yourself, you fill what’s missing from your life and no longer rely on outside people or things to bring you joy, fulfillment and happiness.
I love myself for I am a beloved child of the universe and the universe lovingly takes care of me now. - Louise Hay
How To Love Yourself: 10 Steps In Reclaiming Your True Love
What a mirror, a few kind words and repetition can do for you!
Choose an affirmation that resonates with you. For example, “I love myself. I respect myself. I honor myself.” Stand in front of a mirror and say this affirmation aloud at least 3 times per day. The first 10 to 15 times will feel awkward, but stick with it.
Connect how loving yourself, respecting yourself and honoring yourself makes you feel as you repeat your affirmation in front of a mirror. Feel your way into the words of your affirmation.
Devote 10 to 15 minutes in quiet reflection. Listen to the messages from your body, your mind and your spirit. Don’t judge or moderate…simply listen. Do this every day.
Write down any thoughts, emotions or intuitive messages you receive during these quiet reflections. Repeat daily.
At the end of each day, review your notes and ask for guidance before you go to sleep. This will help you gain clarity and a deep inner knowing about yourself and ultimately, your needs.
Exercise regularly for at least 20 minutes per day. You can take a brisk walk, practice a few yoga poses, or do some stretching. Make it simple so you can succeed.
Eat nourishing foods every day. Adding one healthy change to your daily diet can do wonders for your body and your spirit.
Pursue a creative endeavor you’ve always wanted – whether painting, music, learning a language – you’ll savor the new experience and what it will awaken inside of you.
Display your vision board. Proclaim what you want in pictures and words and hang your dreams where you can see them every day. This is a very powerful start in making dreams a reality. Don’t be shy about this – your dreams, your wishes, and your desires matter!
Have faith. Know that everything is working out for your highest good. Trust in yourself and in your journey. Add gratitude to your day by greeting each new day with a “thank you.”
As long as you are showing up and doing your part (and we’re including small baby steps here too), you’ll soon see the universe bringing to you all that you’ve asked for because you now are in loving alignment with yourself – you are now fully loving and accepting yourself as you are right now. You are a gift to the world!
Expand on the value of self-love with one or more of these empowering tools to help you fall in love with you all over again.
You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay
You Can Heal Your Life Study Course, by Louise Hay
Love Yourself: Heal Your Life Workbook, by Louise Hay
The Power is Within You, by Louise Hay
You Can Create an Exceptional Life, by Louise Hay and Cheryl Richardson
Self-Care Cards: 1 52-Card Deck, by Cheryl Richardson
Where To Start
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