Some of us don’t have a lot of tools to deal with troubled emotional states, yet all of us have the capacity to “sweeten” our minds. Metta, or loving-kindness, meditation was a practice taught by the Buddha to develop the mental habit of selfless love. Like all Buddhist meditations, loving-kindness can transform habituated negative patterns of mind.

The practice begins by developing a loving acceptance of yourself. Sit quietly and visualize yourself smiling, or repeat an affirmation or positive mantra or prayer, as you steadily breathe in and out. If feelings of self-loathing or unworthiness arise, know that your thinking mind and its negativity script are at work. Keep at it, continuing to bring your thoughts back to a positive image or sound. Then, when you are ready, send your prayer of loving-kindness out toward others in this order:

1. A respected, beloved person, such as a spiritual teacher
2. A dearly beloved, who could be a close family member or friend
3. A neutral person—somebody you know, but have no special feelings toward
4. A hostile person—someone you are currently having difficulty with

Take your newfound sense of loving acceptance into your life, your work, your community, and your relationships. You may be surprised to find how quickly it comes back to you.