Gerry Gavin is the Author of “If You Could Talk to an Angel” and “Messages from Margaret.”  He hosts a weekly radio show on Hay House Radio, where he channels the angel Margaret, bringing down-to-earth angelic advice to the world. Here is this month's life changing advice for the readers of HealYourLife.com.

As we enter the month of May it always reminds me that not only is May the word for a very special month – but it has other uses as well.  Years ago there was a very popular game called “Mother May I.”  The concept of the game was quite simple – one child (the “mother”, or “father”, or sometimes “captain”) would stand at one end of the room, with their back to the other children, and each child would request permission of the “mother” to take steps to get closer to her.  

The mother would say yes, or no, or would suggest alternatives to the request – sometimes even suggesting that a particular player take steps away from her.  It is amazing how children’s games can sometimes mirror life so perfectly.

When you were a child you learned how to play the same “game” with your own mom, dad, or another caretaker.  You would ask permission to do things that would make you happy – and they would either say yes, or no, or sometimes would respond in such a way that would make you regret even asking the question.  You quickly learned that doing certain things would make them happy (which would result in them drawing you closer to them) or angry (which would result in them pushing you away).  

Sometimes you may have felt that they may not have even noticed that you were in the “game” – focusing instead on your siblings, or their own work, or some other thing that seemed to bring them more joy.  For many of you this became the birth of “people pleasing” – essentially doing whatever would make that other person happy – even if it didn’t make you happy at all! 

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When a person seeks to be loved, or allowed to take a “step closer” to another person it is a truly wonderful thing.  But when you experience rejection, or are only allowed to take a “step closer” based on what you do – rather than who you are – then it is possible that you may quite literally begin the process of giving away parts of your soul energy in order to be more “like”-able to the other person.  This can then continue on throughout your life, as you seek to become the person that the one you love would like you to be. 

What you are essentially doing is asking for permission to love/be loved and if permission is granted then you will be allowed to draw closer – or you will be sent away.  

In fact, your word “mission,” stems from a Latin word meaning “to send” and “per” comes from a Latin word that means “by means of.”  So when you ask for permission, you are asking for a decision that will send you either closer or farther – by means of – the reaction or rules of another.  

There are many rules and regulations that humans find themselves following as part of societies – and you are required to say “may I” in a multitude of different situations.  But you, dear ones, are ultimately the final decision makers in whether you choose happiness.  

Often however, you may find that this concept is hard to believe. For that reason I would like to suggest three things that can help you to realize your joy and give yourself the permission to love you!

1.    Trust your Body:  The soul energy that fuels your body, and all that you are, will always give you signs if you are putting out more energy then you are getting back.  If someone is making it difficult to love them, or not offering you any loving energy in return, you will feel it!

Being around that person will make you physically drained or tired.  When this happens give yourself permission to take some space.  Rather than saying “may I take two steps forward” take a few steps back and re-assess the situation.  Sometimes the easiest way to decide if you are in a place you want to be is to ask yourself this question. “If my child, or brother, or sister, or close friend, or even a parent were in this same situation – what would I tell them to do if they asked my advice?”  Love yourself in the same manner as you would suggest that your loved ones should love themselves. 

2.    Try to re-discover what makes you happy and draws you to your “happy place!”  Sometimes you may do things that don’t truly make you happy; in order to make other’s happy – or sometimes just to keep the peace.  

If you do this often enough you may actually start to forget what are the things that make you happy!  When Gerry and I do soul-retrieval work, we often help others to remember what brings them joy by having them identify music, movies, television shows, favorite foods, and other things that bring them joy.  You can begin to do this as well.  Look back at your life and think about the things you used to love to do – and then, whenever possible – do them! 

3.    Give yourself permission to let go of blame, guilt, shame, lack and any other thoughts of not being “enough!”  

You are perfection, and any of your experiences to date have simply been a part of your evolution in this particular incarnation.  Thinking that you “missed your chance” to be something, or do something, causes you to discount all the things you have learned and become – and while you may not see what those things are – your soul does!  Start every day with the afformation of “why is it so easy for me to see that I am enough and love-able just the way I am!”  

This month is the perfect time – every time you look at the calendar – to say “Yes, I give myself permission to do something today that will bring me joy!”  And then – realize that you have just given yourself permission to take a big step forward – towards you!  

Go in peace dear ones!

Love, Margaret