Stop making food such a big thing. If you’ve lost your job and your girlfriend’s dumped you, then have a frickin’ chocolate bar. In fact, get a cab down to the nearest candy factory and do the tour where you can scoop up fistfuls and stuff them into your mouth. You’ll feel better. And feeling better is good. F**k it, and stop making food such a big thing.

Disease – as you probably know – is about dis-ease, being tense. The tension that you feel around eating the wrong or right foods is probably as much a contributor to your disease as anything that you put in your mouth.

I’d like to put on a white coat and do an experiment to demonstrate this. I’ve got two people in my lab with exactly the same health condition. A disease that they believe is affected by food. I’ve placed them under a trance and am about to give them some food.

The first person, let’s call him First for the sake of anonymity, is given a chocolate éclair (you may not remember these, they may be left in the 1970s, but they’re basically hot dogs but made with pastry, chocolate and cream). First is told (under trance, remember) that this food is going to do him the world of good and will make him feel much better immediately; it may even lead to a healing of his condition.

The second person, let’s call him B for the sake of confusion, is given a wholefood salad with nuts and seeds. And he’s told that he can’t resist this food because it’s so delicious but it will undoubtedly have a negative effect on his condition. First and B are plugged into lots of machines with dials and things that beep, and as they eat the food we start to monitor them.

First is completely relaxed but is eating something that should immediately affect his condition. But there is absolutely no beeping or swinging of dials on the machines.

B is very tense but is making ‘mmmm’ noises as he eats his salad. After just one mouthful, things beep and dials swing and his condition immediately deteriorates.

We monitor First and B for 6 hours after the consumption of the food, and the pattern is the same:

• First’s consumption of the chocolate éclair has no effect on his condition. The state of his mind has completely cancelled out the anticipated physical reactions.
• B’s consumption of the health-giving nutty salad has caused him to become ill.

You see? This is science. I’m wearing a white coat and things have been beeping, so it must be true.

But it’s worth thinking about when you’re trying to resist some bread and putting yourself through agony because you’re scared it will aggravate your slightly extended bowel condition.

Accept things as they are: maybe you’re a little chubby, maybe you’re a complete porker, but accept yourself as you are. At least for a few minutes . . . then go back to the self-loathing until you can build up the accepting bit to more minutes. But have a go at it.

Accept your eating habits as they are. You know that eating for you is just a merry-go-round. It seems you have no control in the end. And after a patch of eating less, you lose it and eat a whole shelf-full of cookies (and we’re talking the shelf of a supermarket, not a shelf in your kitchen cupboard).

It’s also worth accepting that – to one degree or another, and like every other human being walking this earth – you’re f**ked up. You have emotional problems, anxiety, neuroses, fears, low self-confidence. Whatever it is, you ain’t too happy with yourself and life and you’re eating to feel better.

Most of us do it. Most of us won’t admit it. But look at that word – most – you’re not alone in this. So you’re f**ked up … yes, you’re human. All this acceptance will have the definite effect of relaxing you.

Say F**k It to your diet. And F**k It when the voices start coming up. How about saying F**k It and eating what you really fancy for your next meal? Say F**k It afterwards when you start to feel bad. And go with it and see what happens. If you put on a bit of weight, say F**k It.

My bet is that you will start to get over your issues around food.

My bet is that once you can eat what the hell you want, you won’t need to stuff the whole of a birthday cake into your mouth in one sitting because you know you can have more later or tomorrow if you want.

My bet is that without so much tension around “good” and “bad” foods you may well start to want to eat some of the foods that you thought were ‘good’ but were so painful to eat. You’ll find that you actually like eating these foods. But don’t start thinking they’re “good,” just eat what you want and see what happens.

And my bet is that, eventually, you will start to lose weight. If you’re still saying F**k It, you shouldn’t really care too much. If it matters less to you that you’re putting on weight, then it should matter less to you that you’re losing it. Sure, treat yourself to a little smile as you see the scales beneath your feet … but you can still say F**k It and have a chocolate bar to celebrate.

So F**k your diet and start saying F**k It: Accept how things are and how you are because everything is OK like it is – let food and your body shape matter less to you. And observe what all these zen dudes have been preaching for so long: that when you lose your desire for something, that’s the moment when you start to get it.

_{Excerpted from F**k It by John C. Parkin. Copyright © 2010 (Hay House).}