‘Loving your body’ isn’t about looking in the mirror and trying really, really, really hard to love those parts of your body that you’ve spent years trying to get rid of. Nor trying to make it look like someone else’s body – a celebrity’s, a girl on Instagram’s, or your former 20-year-old self’s.

This is the stuff that really sticks.

Treat your body like she’s your best friend. Respect her, honour her, listen to her.

Start to think of her like she’s one of your besties. A girlfriend that you have so much love for that you would never disrespect her. You would never want anyone to hurt her, and looking after her and making sure she’s safe are of upmost importance to you. Maybe instead of a girlfriend it’s your mum, your sister, or your daughter.

Your feelings for her run so much deeper than just what you see on the outside.

(Can you imagine if we loved our best friends, mums, daughters purely because of the way they looked?! If they gained a few pounds or felt bloated would we suddenly turn our backs on them and disown them?! Of course not, don’t be so ridiculous, I hear you cry.)

This love between girlfriends is a real deep love, respect and honour.

This is how we should love ourselves.

This is the love we should have for our body.

It means sticking with your body through thick and thin, listening to her, trusting her innately, respecting her, loving her through and through, and not ignoring her when she’s shouting at you. It means being your body’s cheerleader when she’s feeling rough, and championing her when she’s feeling fab.

Loving your body also means not talking down to her.

Would you talk to your daughter, your mum, your best friend in the same way you talk down to yourself?

Talking to ourselves...they say it’s the first sign of madness... yet we all do it. Whether you’re muttering to yourself while driving or running a subconscious mental dialogue, it’s totally normal!

But the important question is how do you talk to yourself?

That little running commentary in your head isn’t always kind, especially when you’re in certain ‘trigger scenarios’ – in the shop changing-room, in a mirror, even in the bathtub or just getting dressed in the morning.

Have you ever found yourself insulting your body, or calling yourself names for being lazy, or useless – or berating yourself for still carrying around those extra 10lbs?

Would you ever say those things to your best friend? Of course not!

All those insults and cutting judgements about ourselves and our bodies wouldn’t even cross your mind! If you ever spoke to them the way you speak to yourself, they’d probably be so hurt and offended! So why speak to yourself that way?

The longer we talk down to ourselves, the longer we stay imprisoned in body jail, so use the following three steps to upgrade your self-talk.

1. Catch yourself in the act when you are talking down to yourself.

2. Change the script in your head.

3. Be kind, forgive yourself and drown out negative or hateful thoughts with love and compassion. You deserve it and you are enough. Just as you are.

You and your body should be working as a team, rather than you fighting against her.

When you respect your body, she will reward you with a life beyond your wildest dreams.

For many of us this means undoing a whole lifetime of body obsession or feeling like we are always judged on our appearance. Learning to love your body is something that takes time and daily effort.

Love your body even if you’re not in the best shape of your life.

If you’re not in the best shape of your life right now, maybe you’re struggling to love your body, because you’re constantly comparing yourself to how you used to look.

As a former model I can totally relate to that. I have spoken to athletes and personal trainers who have said the same thing. But it applies to all of us. If you’ve spent a time in what you consider to be great shape, and now you’re not ‘there’ – it can be a real struggle to convince yourself that you don’t need to get back ‘there’.

When I was in ‘the best shape’ of my life – or what I considered to be – I was miserable with how I looked and constantly scrutinizing myself – way more than I do now.

It’s completely fine for you to love your body AND want to make your body the best she can be!

The key is to do it all from a loving place to begin with.

Your body now is your body now. There is no going backwards, no rewinding the clock, only moving forwards.

Living in the past or striving for an old version of yourself will always be a losing battle. How can your body best support you right now, and indeed, in your future?

Only loving your body when she’s in the best shape is like only loving your kids when they are best behaved.

Be your number one fan:

Be proud of yourself.

High-five yourself when you achieve something awesome. (In your mind that is; you don’t want to look crazy.)

Tell yourself how proud of YOU you are.

Champion yourself.

Give yourself pep talks.

Be your own cheerleader.

You are one sassy lady.

And you’ve got this.

Editor's Note: For more from Mel Wells, check out her first book with Hay House - The Goddess Revolution is out now.