Since remembering past lives isn’t a very common occurrence, it’s hard to know who’s who from one life to the next. Do people continue to reincarnate together? Or do they make new relationships in each life? Well, the answer to both questions is yes. Just like in a single lifetime, some of the same people hang out together for a long time, and sometimes they meet new people.

There are two primary reasons why the same people connect over and over again from one reincarnation to another. The first is that there is a kinship and a desire to evolve and grow together.

The second reason that the same people frequently come together is because they’ve had a number of past lives during which there was a lack or loss within a relationship. Sometimes there may have been an early death, or, perhaps, one of the individuals was constantly away. Or there may have been an emotional lack of presence where one of the individuals was physically there but was non-responsive, inconsiderate, dismissive, or even worse.

Whether the loss is through death or rejection, the resulting emotional karma is the same. The individuals who return together in these cases are compelled to do so because they seek to restore what was unavailable to them before. Unfortunately, this driving, compelling force seems to have a life of its own and is often mistaken for love because of the high levels of urgency and need involved.

But don’t let this mistake happen to you. Being desired in a relationship is not the same as being valued. Urgency and desperation in needing another’s approval or even another’s presence do not actually indicate love. Instead they usually indicate karmic lessons, imbalances of power, unfinished past life business, and wounded feelings.

Of course, the infatuation stage of any new relationship will often bring with it great intensity. But after the first few months, that intensity should give way to trust and ease. If urgency, fear, and neediness are present after many months in any relationship, it’s often a clear sign that an imbalance of power and a need for acceptance that were seeded in a past life are back again.

When relationships from past lives are brought together again in this one, there is a directive from each person’s spirit (or soul) for the couple to build a relationship of reciprocity and support – support in building a life of growth and love, both individually and collectively. This is true regardless of whether there had been difficult or joyful past lives, or both. Before coming into this physical world, we make karmic contracts to come together with myriad individuals – from parents to lovers to coworkers to children. We set a plan to work on some specific issues from past lives and discover new joys in the future.

Often, though, when the individuals return to a new life, their plans and contracts can be forgotten by one or both people. Because of a lack of awareness, the negative habits and patterns that had been cultivated in past lives are re-awakened.

And instead of getting healed, the karma gets even more and more deeply entrenched. If you have ever had someone in your life who does not support you in feeling good about yourself (yet you were compelled – either by necessity or feeling – to pursue a relationship with that person), then you can bet there’s past life karma at work.

Happily, in spite of all the upheaval that your past life relationships may bring to the table today, there are some very positive and powerful things you can do to meet the challenges head-on.

First, it would be helpful to discover some of the past life histories you have with this person and begin to rescript and restructure the misbegotten beliefs that stem from that history. In Sandra Taylor’s book, The Hidden Power of Your Past Lives, you’ll find out more about this restructuring as well as receive a CD with past life regression and restructuring processes.

As you begin to delve into discovering your past life histories, you can also take steps in your daily life to put yourself back on the karmic path in your relationships by taking the following steps.

5 Ways To  Heal Karmic Relationships

1. Live consciously and seek to understand your feelings. Even if you don’t know your past life circumstances, you know when you’re being motivated out of urgency, fear, or need. And you know when you’re feeling good or bad within a relationship. Be honest with yourself.
2. Listen to your intuition. When you hear – or sense your inner voice whisper – “There’s something wrong here,” listen to it. Trust it.
3. Ask yourself, "Does this relationship honor me and support me in my growth and joy? Am I valued in this relationship?” If the answer is “no,” find out if the other person will join you in doing what’s required to create a supportive life together.
4. If the other person is unwilling, realize that your karma with him or her has now changed. Know that your truth is not defined by this person’s perspective or response, but by who you are eternally. And although the decision to leave the relationship may be difficult, you can seek new ways to embrace your soul’s inner power and boundless love.
5. It is now – and always – time to fill your life with the thoughts, actions, and people who honor you. Tell the Universe that you value yourself by thinking and doing the things that promote your wellbeing. When you do something that values you each day, your stock will go sky high in every relationship, purpose, and task.

Every relationship has some karmic purpose, because there is always an opportunity to discover – and share – the imperishable spirit within. Regardless of what your relationship patterns may have been in past lives or in the past in this life, you can still create something different. Every day is a life in miniature. Tomorrow you will be born anew, and when you plant the seeds of love and value there, you will harvest nothing less than a bounty of joyful relationships and an incandescent life!

Sharon Anne Klingler’s internationally bestselling book Power Words received high praise from The Huffington Post. Sharon is also a contributing author of The Hidden Power of Your Past Lives with her sister Sandra Anne Taylor.